Kubler-Ross model, stages of grief

  • As above topic states, this post is about obtaining closure and healing after a loss, ANY loss. A loss like last nights suffered by KU is truly heartbreaking to players, coaches and fans alike. The 5 stages of grief are as follows; Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Everyone who experiences a big loss of something typically goes through all 5 stages and not necessarily in the order listed with acceptance being the end goal.
    I did not watch the game, I had to hit the hay early cuz of work. Once I woke up and looked at the box score I thought," This must be a mistake! No way!" Then I got pissed off. Im thinking why in the hell did Coach Self not let our guys play to their strengths and insanely run hi-lo sets when our guys do not play that way as a strength!? What is he doing?

    Should his position be in jeopardy because of his apparent inability to coach outside his hi-lo box? I have been thinking that ALL day long.

    I have also been wondering what really happened since I did not and will not watch the game. I am literally mad at our boys right now. How could they let Kstate beat them? They NEEDED this win to help assure an 11th conference title and a better seed in the tourney.

    This is also my emotional side talking here, but now I am feeling like @HighEliteMajor was right when he said this season was cashed, done. I mean, I really dont have the confidence anymore that KU can even win 1 of their last 3 conference games. They arent just in a slump. They are in an absolute free fall and Coach Self is letting it happen. He should be on the hot seat right now. I dont care what his record has been, he is failing this team and failing us.

    Clearly I am not to the bargaining stage yet. Im not asking questions like will it be ok if we win the rest of our games? Would it be so bad to split the conference with Iowa st? Would it be so bad to lose it out right this year to them?

    After this game, I literally just dont see them winning any more games. I think they lose the next 3 conference games they have left, lose the first Big12 tourney game and get bounced in the first game of the NCAA’s
    KU is 22-6 right now, add 3 and 2 more to that? KU might have 11 total losses on the season. one more than they had last season.
    @jaybate-1.0 Your early prediction of a 10 loss season just might happen. At this point I think it is much more likely that it will. Especially with KU’s current weaknesses exposed all over the place and Coach Self’s apparent lack of ability to fix them.
    We are done guys. This is no good. No good at all.

  • @Lulufulu

    By god, any man that can work Elizabeth Kubler-Ross into a basketball post HAS TO BE SAVED!!!

    Alright, board rats, we are going to pull out of a winter battle in Lawrence, Kansas, move half a continent in a winter storm, and we are marching into Bastogne, Vermont, and we are going to kick these last three B12 paper hanging sunnsabitches all the way back to Bennington!!!


    We need a weather prayer!!!

    @Lulufulu is trapped in sub zero weather and snow up to his kanakas.

    We need a weather prayer for Lulu.

    Its bad enough we have to fight Texas, West Virginia and Oklahoma. We should haven’t to fight this weather too.

    (Note: yet another shameless allusion to Franklin J. Shaffner’s “Patton,” starring George C. Scott.)

  • Self has earned at least a couple down years, has he not? Doesn’t he have the highest winning percentage ever at Kansas? He just came off a five year streak of 30 plus wins. Last I checked we passed UNC as the second winningest program under his tenure and Kansas has close to or more Tourney wins in the last 10 years than most schools. Buying into the concept that it is national championship or bust is the only thing that really Pisses me off on this forum.

  • @Blown I agree. He has earned a down year or two. We all have been spoiled by his success. His success is also his worst enemy. Oh…and if this is a down year…it’s a pretty darn good down year.

  • @Blown THAT’S IT - IT’S OVER…We’ve fallen and can’t get up. We could drop all the way to a (gulp) … #3 seed. Oh, the horrors!!!

  • I think I’ll be ok everyone, I just really needed to vent. How likely is it that we get beat by WVU and Texas at home? I mean considering the circumstances, I think the chances are quite higher than we might realize.
    I dont hold any illusions about getting beat by OU for the last game. No way we go there and pull out a win. Especially not after getting beat by the mild kitties.
    Im truly concerned about this teams “fight” and health, and Coach Self’s ability to dig the best of his stuff out for the two tourneys we have coming up.

  • Chaplain, we need that weather prayer NOW!!!

  • Losing record on the road in conference and an early con tourn exit will get us a low three or high four seed. Which is good because that puts us out of the uk bracket. It’s bad because we are highly susceptible to upset with the wrong matchup. And don’t think for one second that the selection jerks aren’t drooling over the chance of canning a blue blood like us to make March madness a must watch. Happens every year…

  • @Lulufulu I understand your concerns, but we will only lose a maximum of 9 games. I am worried about the OU game, but I wouldn’t say “no way” we go in there and win. We are capable of playing well enough to win in Norman…I just don’t know if we will. But, it wouldn’t shock me.

  • @Lulufulu venting is good . So is having good board rat virtual friends to reign us in.

  • @jaybate-1.0 Or Indian rain dance? ha!

  • @Lulufulu

    Chaplain, dial up a rain for us, too. We are in good with the almight of all cultures and if you dial up the rain dance, I am quite certain the almighty will be listening and do his part!!!


  • @jaybate-1.0

    I think this should do the trick

  • @Hawk8086

    I agree that there is no way we win in Norman especially if they find a way to beat Iowa St in Ames. They would be playing for a share of the crown and you can bet your bottom dollar Hield & Cousins will go off. This team is just a poor road team and it pains me to be right about it but its the truth. We as fans have to realize that this team is going in the wrong direction and nothing short of a coaching miracle is going to change that.

  • @BeddieKU23 Of course we can win in Norman! Keep the faith! RCJH!

  • Just imagine all these past Bill Self years, other league programs glued to Jayhawk games at this stage of the season, hoping and praying that KU posts a loss or two so that their very own schools can catch up. Iowa State, Oklahoma, W. Virginia, esp., have been following our W/L column like hungry hawks. Now, of course, we are swept up in that same swirl, esp. gazing sideways at the Cyclones, peering down at Sooners and Mountaineers. Praying that we can squeeze forth 3 more essential wins. To bastardize a jaybate slogan: The going just got tough…and the Tougher had best get to going!

  • @joeloveshawks

    I haven’t lost the faith at all but my comments I stand by because that’s the reality. We are not going to become magically better on the road in a week. We’ve seen this script 3 weeks in a row. If the game in Norman means OU can get a piece of the league title it will be madness there.

    Tonight’s game between Baylor and Iowa St could be our saving grace. If Baylor somehow wins, all KU has to do is win its 2 game home stand for a share.

  • @BeddieKU23 I understand. I agree that we more than likely lose at OU. It is just the fact that you never know. If we come out and playing great and they come out tight as there is so much on the line you never know. I still think we are a deeper team than OU even if they have a better starting lineup and one guy who is better than anyone on our roster.

    Even after losing to KSU and WVU on the road I am not that worried. We could and maybe even should have won both of those games. We were not blown out. We did not simply roll over.

    With three games to play a lot can still happen and I love our chances of beating UT and WVU at home. That means that KU will have a great deal to play for in the final game at OU (assuming ISU wins their next 3). It is exciting and hopefully our guys will respond with their backs against the wall.

  • Another reason I am “keeping the faith” in KU is last night. Yesterday I posted that we are more than likely going to drop to a 3 seed as Notre Dame and UNC are playing well and may take us over on the 2 line. Both teams promptly lose along with Wisconsin losing. I am not going to assume Wisconsin drops very far but it is just good to know that every team fighting for these top seeds is going to drop games. Not just KU. If we win 2 of our next 3 and then win at least 1 game in the Big 12 tourney I still like our chances of getting a 2. It will make our lives much is easier if we just win the rest of our games! Why not?

  • Woah guys and girls. It is really OK. Sure losing to KSU always stings. Yes losing to an under .500 team sucks. But look at it this way. K State has beaten OU TWICE. They got a win against Baylor and OSU. They were on top of the conference for a bit at the beginning of the season.

    You hear all this talk of the Big 12 being the best conference top to bottom. Well that doesn’t happen if some of the bottom teams (KSU) aren’t capable of taking down some of the top teams (OU, KU, ISU???).

    Step away from the ledge everybody! The 2012 Jayhawks went into the tournament with 6 losses. The 2008 team lost back to back road games in late February the last on February 23! All is not lost.

    We always lament how teams with great guards do well in March even if they don’t do as well throughout the season. We have that.

    We occasionally worry that the Big 12 doesn’t test our team enough to prepare them for good teams in the tournament. Check.

    Some of you even talk about how it can be good to take a loss to teach a lesson (an opinion I do not share!). Well that has happened too.

    Truth is. March is unpredictable. So is this team. We’ve seen them get hot and win 5 straight over good teams (yes I’m saying TCU is a good team).

    No. 11 is still in sight. ISU has to play Baylor, KSU in KS, and OU. Nothing comes easy. Not for us. Not for them.

  • How’s that for some bargaining!

  • @Blown PHOF !!

  • @benshawks08 sounds good to me!

  • This is the classic time to pull this clip out.

    I’ve gotten goose bumps from this since 1978.

    “Neidermeyer, DEAD!”

  • "What happened to the KUBuckets I used to know?

    Where’s the spirit?

    Where’s the guts, huh?

    This could be the greatest night of our lives, but you are going to let it be the worst!"

  • @KUSTEVE Perry flat ass owned KSU Mon nite first half, & our defense was not good to say the least. It allowed them to get back in the game before half with another 20 min to go. OK fast forward to second half. We were shooting bonus FT’s 4 min into the half & to try & run a 4 out 1 in at that point was stupid or mildly stated, counterproductive. Refs just wouldn’t call the fouls on the drivers like Bill expected & our defense or 3 ball offense late, could not bail us out. We couldn’t buy a stop under about 12 min & after about the 6 min mark our offense couldn’t hit the damn ocean or play catch up. These things happen. Its’ not like Self is awful, or we’re now in collapse mode or the effin season has died. Anyone can self destruct at any flippin time. How much will we all gloat when it happens to Cal? And the %'s say it likely will. Like @Blown says, Self has earned his damn keep & if a down year (5 or 6 losses is a down year?) then that’s part of it. I wouldn’t trade him for any other D-1 coach with maybe the exception of a much younger Larry Brown so let it ride guys. I’m not happy either but some of these rats gotta get a perspective & get off the juice. Hey I like a drink too, but a wise man once told me that moderation is a key to success. If we end up a 3 seed that’s about where we are. I said months ago after the UK loss that we just don’t have the stable of rough stock in the frontcourt this year like in years past & we don’t. And I ain’t buyin that crap about an NC being the only thing that’s important either. That’s something you would never want your players to hear, let alone believe. Kinda like the Squid spitting that schpiel about being undefeated. Just take these damn things one at a time the way were supposed to. We’ve got several more weeks of games & anyone that counts out a coach like Self & a team with this much talent needs a reality check or maybe even much much, more. JMO

  • Let’s journey back…

    One of those 10 conference championships was with a team where we counted on a huge chunk of our offense from our PG Sherron Collins. It wasn’t a thing of beauty, but we managed to continue the streak.

    We can win this running backwards!

    Maybe I’m in the denial stage…

    Everyone stop thinking about March… Let’s first kick arse a few more games and at least tie for another conference championship.

    Are we going to allow the possibility that a bunch of Mountaineer rednecks might get a piece of the B12 title? Really?

    First things first!


    “BrokeArse Mountaineers, DEAD!”

    “Clones, DEAD!”

    “Schooners, DEAD!”

    “Shorthorns, DEAD!”

  • @drgnslayr Spewing coffee…ya nut!!! great stuff,man.


    “Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?!”

    Chai… caffeinated chai…

  • Step 1 : Beat the Teasippers

    Step 2: Beat the dreaded Hillbillies

    Step 3: Beat the Okies

    Step 4: Tell everyone to kiss our ass. We’re KU.

  • @drgnslayr Damn good post !! I seriously doubt Self will let his team loose sight of # 11 slayr. Sarcastic posts about the conf trophy being iron pyrite are bull hockey & the glass half full clowns that say them are likely losers all the way-head cases IMO. That’s why their psychology so desperately & deeply wants to be associated with a winner like the Jayhawks. Some of them only come out of the woodwork when things don’t go the way they like. Similar to cockroaches when the lights are turned off.

  • @approxinfinity

    Is it possible to let everyone push their like button as many times as they want on a post… just for one day?

    Let’s get this site turbo-charged… bring back the troops in Royal Command!

  • @KUSTEVE Damn Steve youre on a roll-another PHOF !!

  • @globaljaybird

    We’ve had better teams than this who underachieved. I’ve always screamed we didn’t have a chip on our shoulders.

    Maybe this year things have worked out to give us a chip we can use! Last time we had a chip was when we lost TRob’s mom, and we saw what that brought us.

  • There are elite athletes on just about every team in D-1 now. I just desperately want kids who - just - can’t - take - losing. The ones who hate losing even more than they like winning. Guys that defend their opponents and the rim like their very lives (at least for 2+ hours that day) depend on it.

    Guys that want to win for their coach, their families, their fans, their school, their teammates and themselves.

    We’ve seen an extremely minimal amount of blood, sweat and tears (in my opinion) from this team. Am I the only one who misses the old Jerod Haase (author of FLOOR BURNS hint…hint…) type of players that went all out every game? He’s not the only one - we had whole teams of that type of player for years and years.

    I apologize for turning the games off when we’re playing like crap, but it’s hard to watch after being spoiled all these years. Even when we lost back then, it was usually a dog-fight to the end. Now we lose and the players and coaches make jokes in the post game.

    I used to make fun of Ol Roy for crying, but dad-gummit, I’m ready to see some tears from this coaching staff and team. They’re sure coming from me! 😢

  • @drgnslayr Love the positive posts! Really like the unlimited upvotes idea! Let’s GO! This is a good team. This team showed early in the year that they can be scrappy. They can win close games. Remember when we were 3rd in Kenpom’s “luck.” That stat meant we won more close games than other teams. Yeah we’ve been down on our “luck” recently. But just like shooting percentages, these things have a way of evening themselves out.

    I’m waiting for the players only meeting. The one guy getting in teammates faces and saying, “this doesn’t cut it!”

    These guys have that in them. Kelly can play with fire. Greene shows his emotion. Wayne, Cliff, and Devonte love to get riled up! Jamari jumps, dives, and scrapes as much as anyone ever has, even if it isn’t always effective.

    And Perry. Talk about on an uptick. If there is one positive thing we can take away from these losses, it’s that Perry has finally learned how to attack! His moves are quicker. He’s rebounding stronger. He even SMILED!! Maybe our real leader is coming out of his shell!

    Let’s all take this anger and hurt and whining and turn it into fire and passion!

    Go slayr go! I’m right there with you. I’m more excited now for the rest of this season than I have been all year!

    Knock us down? We get back up!

  • @drgnslayr George M Cohan, James Cagney, & Metro Goldwyn Meyer !! Thanks @drgnslyr for the pep talk !! If I had 3 thumbs…

  • @joeloveshawks

    KU will have to collapse to drop to a 3 seed. Our #1 rpi is going to keep us on the 2 line unless we lose 2-3 more games. Notre Dame just lost last night to Syracuse so their resume just took a hit. Notre Dame has to have everything go right to get ahead of us at this point because their Non-Con schedule was horrendous.

    I’d say you forgot the debacle in Oklahoma St. as well. We simply rolled over in that game. We had an 8 point lead in the 2nd half against K-St then made 2 baskets in a 10 minute period as was pointed out by others, if that’s not rolling over I don’t know what is. I’m not arguing your points just sharing a different point of view from how I see how we have played on the road.

    A lot of things can play out in these last 3 games for us as you have pointed out.

    The players left have these games remaining. Iowa St: Tonight vs Baylor. Sat @ KSU. Monday vs OU. @ TCU next Saturday. OU: Saturday vs TCU. @ Iowa St Monday. Vs KU next Saturday. West Virginia: @ Baylor Saturday. @ KU Tuesday. Vs Oklahoma St. next Saturday.

    If KU & Iowa St head into next Saturday without a loss, then KU will have a lot of motivation. I give that the only plausible way we walk away from Norman with a win. If OU survives in Ames then they will be playing at home with a hungry team. Those are recipes for disaster.

  • OU is very beatable. They lost to KSU TWICE. they lost to WVU by 20! Tech took them to overtime. We had a 19 point lead on them AT HALFTIME! Will it be a tough game? Of course! But it will be just as tough for them.

    This is our conference! Take care of two tough games at home, go win a tough one on the road! That’s life. That’s what has to be done.

    So let’s talk about how to do that!

    Perry is playing great. He needs to keep that fire burning. He is finally trying to dunk the ball. We can actually throw it to him down low and he can score. Not every time but it’s an option.

    BG needs to get his sight on his long range gun checked. That airball showed he is off track. We need to get him back on. Texas is the game to do that. We need 3 or 4 makes out of him. He torched them in Austin so they will be blanketing him. Hopefully Self will finally show us something there.

    Frank and Devonte need to get back to Drive and Dish. Whether it is a kick out for 3 or a dump off for a dunk. They need 12 assists between the two of them on Saturday.

    Wayne and Kelly need to dive for balls. That is their game. Get on the floor, make big plays.

    Traylor and Lucas need to keep bringing the hustle and maybe make a lay up or two.

    Cliff needs to make a left hand hook. Just one. Please!!!

  • @benshawks08 Very solid bargaining Bens!

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