Bad Joke Friday
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Okay… we all STILL need to blow off more steam.
I just heard on the radio… this is BAD JOKE FRIDAY!
So let’er rip!
Anything is fair game…
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I heard WSU now refuses to book a home-and-home with us.
Marsha said it could hurt their recruiting…
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How do you sell chickens to a deaf farmer?
HEY YOU WANT TO BUY SOME CHICKENS???
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Gosh, that was BAD! Ha…
I mentioned on another thread I was done making cat shirts from coffee stained shirts.
Maybe I should consider rhino shirts…
Okay… my boy…
Those dang coffee beans…
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So this guy walks into a small town bar and belly ups. He orders a beer and sees this large jar behind the bar filled with 20 dollar bills. He ask te bartender, “what’s with that jar full of twenties?” “That’s for a contest we have here. There’s three steps to complete. You complete the three you win what’s in the jar.” He replies “Cool what are the three things?” The stranger ask “You only find out after you pay. And they have to be done I. The order you are told and all three have to be completed.” The Bartender tells him. So the stranger reached into his pocket and pulls out a 20 and sets it on the bar. Te bartender looks at him and says while grabbing the 20 from the bar, “ok first of all you have to drink a 5th of this tequila.” As he sets a ne bottle on the bar, “when you’ve finished that you have to go pull a tooth that is infected from the old pittbull that is chained up out back. After that you have to go across the street and make this 80 year old lady have her first orgasm in 55 years. Ready. Set. Go!”
The stranger picks up the bottle and starts to chug the bad tequila. He chugs and chugs without throwing up. Stands up and falls over. Picks himself up and heads out back. All of a sudden there is some loud crashes in the alley and a few yelps from the dog.
Then it becomes real quiet. Just as everyone is wondering what happened the back door opens up and the stranger walks through the door, his clothes are ripped and there’s blood on his face.
He looks around the bar and ask, “Now where’s that 80 year old woman that needs her tooth pulled?”
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““He’s great on the court,” a sportswriter said of a college basketball player in an interview with his coach. “But’s how’s his scholastic work?” “Why, he makes straight A’s,” replied the coach. “Wonderful!” said the sportswriter. “Yes,” agreed the coach, “but his B’s are a little crooked.””
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"Q: Why did the basketball player go to jail?
A: Because he shot the ball!"
Thought that one was a bit too relevant.
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““The sport of basketball is 113 years old today,” Jay Leno reported on December 1st, 2004. “Did you know James Naismith came up with the game as a way to keep young men away from women and out of trouble? Well, that sure worked well!””
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Anyone know what the school penalty at KU is for basketball players not passing the ball into the post?
6 games I’m guessing
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Today the NCAA has cleared one of Diallo’s fingerpaintings from 1st grade while he was in Mali. Inconclusive evidence to suggest foul play was involved & the paint used was provided by the school and not an Agent checking in on his future earnings potential.
The NCAA is looking into the validity of this painting. They are not sure if this was in fact Diallo’s hand print or someone’ else’s. The NCAA claims the hand is proportionally big for a 1st grader. The NCAA has reached out to several experts in the field of finger painting all hoping for some clarity on the situation. Stay tuned folks
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Back in the day in a country behind the iron curtain civic unrest forced the commies to issue a strict curfew. Anyone out after dark will be shot on site. No questions asked. So this dude is walking down the street as the sun is setting and one of the KGB pulls up and shoots him. Someone said that’s not fair, it’s not dark yet. The KGB guy says “I know where he lives and he’ll never make it home by dark.”
Now the rest of the story. I was writing a final exam at KU in one of those blue books. I wrote for three hours. The prof had been an envoy to the USSR so I thought he’d appreciate the joke. He told me he came across it grading tests at 2 in the morning, and LOLed so much he gave me extra points. I was just on the border between an A and B for the class and those few extra points for my joke got me an A for the class.
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@wissoxfan83 haha anything to get an A. While at KU, I had a primatology professor offer 50 pts. to the winner of a class costume contest (in a 450 total pt. class!). Knowing that winning would boost my grade from a C to an A, I showed up in a full gorilla suit and reaped the rewards.
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So I guess we won’t be throwing our hat in on the new D1 basketball tournament to be held next year in Jamaica, called “Jam Kill.” (?)
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@drgnslayr I saw a post on Twitter, it was a photo of Charlie Sheen winking with his right thumb up, the caption said " Stay Positive"
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SO… a guy walks into a bar with a frog on his head. The bartender asks, “What’s that?” The frog replies, “I don’t know. It started out as a bump on my ass.”
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Do you know the difference between dark and hard?
It get’s dark every night.
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Ok I think I’ve posted this one before but I just love it so. Preemptive apologies to our Hawks living in the great state of Texas.
Remember when K-State made it to their first Cotton Bowl back in the 90’s and took like 30,000 fans to the game?
Interesting fact, it actually raised the IQ level of both states!!!
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Try this one on for size:
What did Davy Crockett say when he opened the door at the Alamo & saw Santa Anna & 10,000 Mexican soldiers?
…OK boys, looks like we’re pourin’ concrete today,
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Q: What is brown and sticky?
A: A stick.
