Jokes
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@nuleafjhawk said in Jokes:
@crimsonblu22 I feel like that "there" may have been intentional?
In SC we say "that there 'there'" in that there circumstance.
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@wissox83 Do you know how to spot the bride at a K-State wedding? She's the one wearing white overalls.
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Here's a joke - Tiller's ability to jump.
Makes me laugh every time.
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@nuleafjhawk or Hunter’s ability to jump. Which is a lot funnier this year than it was last year, or the year before.
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One of the funniest things I have ever read.
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How to write good
- Avoid Alliteration. Always.
- Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
- Avoid clichés like the plague. They’re old hat.
- Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
- Be more or less specific.
- One should never generalize.
Seven: Be consistent! - Don’t be redundant; don’t use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
- Who needs rhetorical questions?
- Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
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@tundrahok This is the epi-tome of hyperbowl.
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Bunch of dad joke nerds up in here. All word play and stuff! This is my jam!
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So... a guy walks into a bar with a frog on his head.
Bartender says, "what the hell is that?"
Frog replies, "I don't know. It started out as a bump on my ass."
(Paula Poundstone oldie but goodie... and as I get older it just gets funnier)
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Whadya get if you cross an elephant and a rhino? Elephino
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@wissox83 Lol!
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A basketball coach, a referee and a priest walk into a bar, bartender says "what is this some kind of joke?"
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A good masseuse leaves no stern untoned.
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Steinback's struggles with alcohol, little known until recently, was revealed in his autobiography The Wrath of Grapes.
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The head of an old world manor who had really bad personal grooming habits was revealed in the biography "The Flies of the Lord".
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Moses initially climbed the wrong mountain, a nearby volcano, he came down with the Molten Commandments.
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Two missionaries to a tribe of cannibals are put into a large pot and the fire is lit. One of them starts laughing. The other says how can you laugh at a time like this? He said, "I just peed in their soup".
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The cannibal dad came home late for dinner and his wife gave him the cold shoulder.
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Four people are on a plane (a doctor, a lawyer, a schoolboy, and a priest) when it starts to go down. The pilot jumps out with the first parachute, saying "Good luck!".
The doctor grabs one and says, "I save lives, I must live!" and jumps.
The lawyer shouts, "I am the smartest person in the world, I deserve to live!" and grabs the next parachute.
The priest turns to the schoolboy and says, "My son, I have lived a full life. Take the last parachute."
The schoolboy smiles and says, "Relax Father. The smartest man in the world just jumped out with my bookbag" -
@nuleafjhawk Last time I heard that one the Dead Sea was sick.
