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    • tundrahokT Offline
      tundrahok
      last edited by

      How to write good

      1. Avoid Alliteration. Always.
      2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
      3. Avoid clichés like the plague. They’re old hat.
      4. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
      5. Be more or less specific.
      6. One should never generalize.
        Seven: Be consistent!
      7. Don’t be redundant; don’t use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
      8. Who needs rhetorical questions?
      9. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
      nuleafjhawkN 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 7
      • nuleafjhawkN Offline
        nuleafjhawk @tundrahok
        last edited by

        @tundrahok This is the epi-tome of hyperbowl.

        America! Where you have the right to be wrong.

        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
        • approxinfinityA Offline
          approxinfinity
          last edited by

          Bunch of dad joke nerds up in here. All word play and stuff! This is my jam!

          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
          • DanRD Offline
            DanR
            last edited by DanR

            So... a guy walks into a bar with a frog on his head.

            Bartender says, "what the hell is that?"

            Frog replies, "I don't know. It started out as a bump on my ass."

            (Paula Poundstone oldie but goodie... and as I get older it just gets funnier)

            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 4
            • W Offline
              wissox83
              last edited by

              Whadya get if you cross an elephant and a rhino? Elephino

              approxinfinityA 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
              • approxinfinityA Offline
                approxinfinity @wissox83
                last edited by

                @wissox83 Lol!

                1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                • W Offline
                  wissox83
                  last edited by

                  A basketball coach, a referee and a priest walk into a bar, bartender says "what is this some kind of joke?"

                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • W Offline
                    wissox83
                    last edited by

                    A good masseuse leaves no stern untoned.

                    1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                    • W Offline
                      wissox83
                      last edited by

                      Steinback's struggles with alcohol, little known until recently, was revealed in his autobiography The Wrath of Grapes.

                      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                      • W Offline
                        wissox83
                        last edited by

                        The head of an old world manor who had really bad personal grooming habits was revealed in the biography "The Flies of the Lord".

                        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                        • W Offline
                          wissox83
                          last edited by

                          Moses initially climbed the wrong mountain, a nearby volcano, he came down with the Molten Commandments.

                          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                          • W Offline
                            wissox83
                            last edited by

                            Two missionaries to a tribe of cannibals are put into a large pot and the fire is lit. One of them starts laughing. The other says how can you laugh at a time like this? He said, "I just peed in their soup".

                            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
                            • W Offline
                              wissox83
                              last edited by

                              The cannibal dad came home late for dinner and his wife gave him the cold shoulder.

                              1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 4
                              • nuleafjhawkN Offline
                                nuleafjhawk
                                last edited by

                                Four people are on a plane (a doctor, a lawyer, a schoolboy, and a priest) when it starts to go down. The pilot jumps out with the first parachute, saying "Good luck!".
                                The doctor grabs one and says, "I save lives, I must live!" and jumps.
                                The lawyer shouts, "I am the smartest person in the world, I deserve to live!" and grabs the next parachute.
                                The priest turns to the schoolboy and says, "My son, I have lived a full life. Take the last parachute."
                                The schoolboy smiles and says, "Relax Father. The smartest man in the world just jumped out with my bookbag"

                                America! Where you have the right to be wrong.

                                W 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 7
                                • W Offline
                                  wissox83 @nuleafjhawk
                                  last edited by

                                  @nuleafjhawk Last time I heard that one the Dead Sea was sick.

                                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
                                  • nuleafjhawkN Offline
                                    nuleafjhawk
                                    last edited by

                                    A guy sits down next to three blondes at a bar and says to the one closest to him "hey, you want to hear a blonde joke?" She replies "I'm the middle weight kick boxing champion of the world. My friends here are the reigning MMA champion and the current winner of "Naked andAfraid". Are you sure you want to tell us blonde jokes?

                                    He paused for a second and said "Nah. I don't want to have to explain it three times "

                                    America! Where you have the right to be wrong.

                                    1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
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