Jokes
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Bunch of dad joke nerds up in here. All word play and stuff! This is my jam!
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So... a guy walks into a bar with a frog on his head.
Bartender says, "what the hell is that?"
Frog replies, "I don't know. It started out as a bump on my ass."
(Paula Poundstone oldie but goodie... and as I get older it just gets funnier)
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Whadya get if you cross an elephant and a rhino? Elephino
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@wissox83 Lol!
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A basketball coach, a referee and a priest walk into a bar, bartender says "what is this some kind of joke?"
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A good masseuse leaves no stern untoned.
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Steinback's struggles with alcohol, little known until recently, was revealed in his autobiography The Wrath of Grapes.
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The head of an old world manor who had really bad personal grooming habits was revealed in the biography "The Flies of the Lord".
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Moses initially climbed the wrong mountain, a nearby volcano, he came down with the Molten Commandments.
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Two missionaries to a tribe of cannibals are put into a large pot and the fire is lit. One of them starts laughing. The other says how can you laugh at a time like this? He said, "I just peed in their soup".
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The cannibal dad came home late for dinner and his wife gave him the cold shoulder.
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Four people are on a plane (a doctor, a lawyer, a schoolboy, and a priest) when it starts to go down. The pilot jumps out with the first parachute, saying "Good luck!".
The doctor grabs one and says, "I save lives, I must live!" and jumps.
The lawyer shouts, "I am the smartest person in the world, I deserve to live!" and grabs the next parachute.
The priest turns to the schoolboy and says, "My son, I have lived a full life. Take the last parachute."
The schoolboy smiles and says, "Relax Father. The smartest man in the world just jumped out with my bookbag" -
@nuleafjhawk Last time I heard that one the Dead Sea was sick.
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A guy sits down next to three blondes at a bar and says to the one closest to him "hey, you want to hear a blonde joke?" She replies "I'm the middle weight kick boxing champion of the world. My friends here are the reigning MMA champion and the current winner of "Naked andAfraid". Are you sure you want to tell us blonde jokes?
He paused for a second and said "Nah. I don't want to have to explain it three times "
