Should Players Strike for Higher Bribes?

  • If I recall correctly, back around the time of UKs 2012 ring team, a Chicago newspaper reputedly reported a player was offered (or was it paid?) approximately $100,000 to encourage him to attend some school and, when said school officials challenged the report, the newspaper refused to retract its story with the allegation in it.

    Now I don’t wish to re-open that pustule, whatever school may have been involved; that was then and this is now.

    But I do want to note that that was 5-6 years ago, if it ever happened.

    Now, in 2017, if I understand correctly, it appears that the sum of $100,000 is STILL the approximate amount of a bribe.

    This is outrageous!

    The price of a bribe appears not to have changed, while the average cost of a Cadillac Escalade has risen sharply!

    2012 MSRP: $28,410-34,348

    2017 MSRP: $73,995-$95,695

    The players reputed bribes have flatlined and the Escalades have gone up by NEARLY 278%!!!

    (Note: since we tax payers bailed GM’s corporate ass out of some chapter of bankruptcy, and the players play for public and private universities that reputedly receive quite a lot of our gubmint subsidy, directly, or indirectly, it seems the least Gubmint Motors could do would be to hep these needy bribed college hoopers!!)

    Either the players need a HUGE cost of living increase in their bribes, or GM needs to make a special bribed-amateur player discount available.

    This is almost criminal to make the bribed players over stretch themselves to afford these sharply inflated Escalades!!!

    (Note: all satiric fiction. No malice!!!)

  • @jaybate-1.0 Cute! But a little detail: Unfortunately you are using current prices for used Escalades. 2012s sold new for upwards of $60k.

  • Literally read the title and started cracking up. Good stuff JB.

  • @mayjay

    I was thinking the same thing. I remember looking at Escalades around that time and they were north of $50K; I bought a Ford Expedition instead.

  • @JayHawkFanToo I was just aware because we bought our standard model Toyota Sienna van new in 2012 for over $30k. Had we known about the sale on Escalades…

  • @mayjay

    R u sure?

    Oh thank god!!!

    Now the reputedly bribed players may not have to strike for higher bribes to afford GOVERNMENT MOTORS assemblies of Chinese parts!!!

  • mayjay said:

    @jaybate-1.0 Cute! But a little detail: Unfortunately you are using current prices for used Escalades. 2012s sold new for upwards of upwards $60k.

    From $60k to near $85k. Hmmm. Why that’s only in the range of a 30% increase in Escalades with 0% increase in bribes!!!

    Why that’s outrageous!!!

    The bribes should be reduced!

    Think of the Chinese prison labor not getting anything but room, board, prison clothing and mind control!

    The central bank centric NWO is truly unjust and evil in its distribution of costs and benefit.

    Players deserve smaller bribes, not bigger ones, and Chinese prison laborers need to be comped some adidas, too. And maybe Chevy Sonics when the guys get out of prison. None of those crappy Tata’s from India for GM’s Chinese Prison labor force. I know, I know. The prison labor force may not be directly contracted with GM. But those Chinese slave, ER, prison laborers are used hold down wages in the PRC, so all those Chinese parts can be made more cheaply.

    By god Government Motors ought even to declare bankruptcy again and maybe get themselves an untraceable bailout from the PRESIDENT’S PLUNGE PROTECTION TEAM in order underwrite a new platform for the Escalades. It’s getting a little long in the tooth again!

    (Note: all satiric fiction tongue inside of cheek. No malice here. Or I hope, among the prison slaves, but wonder.)

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