Is this the equivalent of an ISU cyclone "Jaybate" post?

  • (for reading the comments to this article - see below)

    The Joy & Frustration of Being Second Best

    By Bitterwhiteguy  @Bitterwhiteguy on Feb 11, 2015, 3:22p 21

    Dear Cyclone friends, it’s happening again. For the third year in a row, the Iowa State Cyclones seem to be on pace to come up just short in your quest to unseat the Kansas Jayhawks from the top of the Big 12 Conference. For the third year in a row, fan & media expectations for a cardinal & gold-clad usurper have been squashed under the downhill boulder of the Jayhawk juggernaut. The pride & appreciation of being a relevant program after a walk through the wilderness is mixed with the envy & frustration of being just a step behind the bluest of blue blood programs.

    You love Mayor McDreamy and thank him for bringing the program back from the Clockwork Orange Greg McDermott Experiment, but quietly wonder if he’s got the mojo it takes to sling stones at Goliath. It sucks, I know. Everyone in Austin knows, because you’ve basically become what the Texas Longhorns were for most of the 2000s: The Second Best Big 12 Team. For years, fans and media alike expected Texas to knock off Kansas, and Texas got achingly close a number of times(including sharing the crown twice). Many of the ambivalent attitudes espoused about the defensive prowess of The Shirtless Wonder - even money Georges Niang is taking the picture - were being said about Rick Barnes(shirtless photo not available) and his offensive issues.

    Still, they never delivered the kill-shot that would have truly opened up the conference crown for other schools So here we are, a pair of skinny-fat women standing around at last call, wondering how we missed hooking up with Tom Hardy when he walked through the bar two hours ago. Sure, we’re judging each other, running our own internal monologues about how the other obviously didn’t deserve a chance and we should be the one combing his mustache with our hip flexors, but the reality is we’re both at the bar together, and yet alone.

    So what do we do about our common foe? How can we leverage our frenemy status to take out Basketball Voldemort? It’s not like we could capture & burn alive a Jayhawk in some sort of ritual sacrifice because I MEAN WHO DOES THAT, THAT’S PATENTLY RIDICULOUS AND ONLY THE IDEA OF A CRAZY PERSON WITHOUT MORALS OR INTERNALIZED ETHICS also because the bird doesn’t even exist, I checked. Allow me to throw around a few ideas.

    1.Send the FBI an anonymous tip that Bill Self invented Silk Road.

    2.Get GamerGate defenders to SWAT Bill Self’s house on game day.

    3 We could beat them on a basketball court multiple times in a season. (this was stricken through on the site but can’t make it do it here). Right, sorry.

    4.Fly Rick Barnes, Fred Hoiberg, & Pat Summit to England to create a 3-person coach baby capable of taking out the Kansas Jayhawks.

    5.Stitch together a suit so Barnes & Hoiberg are literally joined at the hip, let them each coach one end of the floor.

    6.Paint a dead pigeon blue, set it on fire. If a bucket of fried chicken worked in Major League, maybe this will work for us.

    7.Create a clone army consisting of 3 Isaiah Taylors, 3 Jameel McKays, 3 Myles Turners, and 1 Georges Niang(because he can’t be duplicated, am I right?).

    8.Clone a dozen copies of Anna Kendrick, just because.

    9.Destroy cloning machine before Kansas finds it.

    10.Seriously, we don’t need Self duplicating Mario Chalmers for the next 25 years.

    11.On second thought, maybe the cloning machine is too powerful for any one person to have.

    12.(I’m still keeping the Anna Kendrick clones.)

    I’m open to suggestions, guys.

    More from Wide Right & Natty Lite

  • @RockChalkinTexas

    Good read without being hostile towards KU like many of our opponents tend to be…actually complimentary.

  • @RockChalkinTexas

    This reputed Cyclone post is too long winded.

    Who does this Cyclo-board rat think he/she is wasting precious bandwidth that way?

    It is WORSE that squandering precious bodily fluids in the Cold War era!

    Doesn’t he/she know that the more bandwidth he/she wastes, the more countries the Anglo-American-Abiotic Oil Refiner’s Oligopoly and Lawn Bowling Club has to invade preemptively to create trade banks in said countries so as to make reconstruction loans collateralized with the oil under Jihadists and crazy dictators to rebuild the infrastructures degraded with fuel-air bomblets dropped from nano-drones?

    What has become of warfare, @RockChalkinTexas? Fuel-air bomblets? Nano-drones? Pico Rays? Wars run by cellphones and Twitter? By god where’s the glory in that? We have hundreds of fine old A10 Warthogs in mothball gathering dust that could be supporting real ground troops in real ground maneuvers against those ISIL, or ISIS, or ITSITS morons! What is the world coming to?

    And what is this Cyclo-board rat’s mid-major malfunction?

    Is it that guy that stalked our great coach awhile back?

    Surely, not!

    Are all stalkers so long winded and obviously unfair and unbalanced in their opinions on sports, @RockChalkinTexas?

    The next thing you know he/she is going to be advocating an invasion of the panhandle of Texas to secure its oil fields for collateralizing loans made to the Trade Bank of Lukenbach, where Waylon and Willie are still the kings.

    By god, this is unAmerican and it has to stop.

    I want microwave mind control energy directed at whomever is responsible, until he/she reduces word length to something responsible and patriotic.

    Emboss me Jeezus in the backboards of life.

    Respectfully submitted, Brigadier Corporal jay Ripperbate 1.0 (Dept. of State Private Contractor Army-Ret.)

    P.S.: Goooooooooood morning East Turkestan!!!


    (Note: the above is all satire and fiction. With an absence of malice. Glad to see some Cyclones having fun with the medium, too. Part of what makes America great are her citizens’ irreverent senses of humor in times of trial…and error. )

  • @jaybate-1.0

    Ladies and gentlemen…Jaybate has entered the building…:)

  • @RockChalkinTexas That stuff is TOO funny! It sure sounds like it came from @jaybate-1.0

  • @Lulufulu

    @jaybate-1.0 is prolific and likely has alias’ on many other sites to help satisfy his keystroke cravings.

    Here are some other possible @jaybate-1.0 alter egos

    @liberacebate- KSU.

    @zonesuxbate- Baylor.

    @pantsonbackwardsbate- OSU.

    @almostasbadacoachasbaylorbate- Texas.

    @squidshoecobate- Kentucky

    @stumpybate- Arizona.


  • KSU could use a Liberacebate right now. Never has a program dropped faster than a Prom dress. The student body wants Liberace out of there. He should have had a funeral for Huggy. He still has not mentioned if he’ll lift the suspension on the pre-season player of the year. People calling in to his talk show are being openly critical of him as they speak. “Where are the screeners?” The only place worse than Manhatten is the debacle in Columbia. When they were in the Big 12 they would get great recruits from KC and St. Louis that hated Kansas. We won’t play them anymore and no one in Columbia knows where Vanderbilt is and doesn’t really care. 12 straight losses and no one really cares if their best player just broke his arm. Frank Haithe thought going to Tulsa would be a better job than MU. Anderson is a great coach, but he will never get anyone to come to Mizzou.

  • @VailHawk


  • @jaybate-1.0

    Will you share some of your OTHER alias’ please, please, please?!?!

    I’m sure you’ve got some on non-sports sites, right?

  • Now i truly understand the word “Spambot” on the other thread!

  • It is the best post ever.–jaybate 1.0 Wink. Wink. Nudge. Nudge. 🙂

  • @wrwlumpy “KSU could use a Liberacebate right now. Never has a program dropped faster than a Prom dress.”


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