New Internet Low: Bate Misreads GU Statistics Page

  • (Note: I left this post up to remind me of my steady decent into dementia. :-))

    So: I go to the official web page of Georgetown Hoya Athletics to do some pre-game intelligence on GU.

    I click on stats to profile Georgetown by the numbers. I have done this a few hundred times before at the web sites of other schools. The following is the exact link.

    I scroll down.

    When I get to the list of players and their invidual statistics I find that the right third of the statistics are blocked by side bar of GU headlines.

    I look for ways to remove the side bar. No luck.

    I look for ways to move the statistics so I can see the right one third of the individual stats. No luck.

    I close Safari and try viewing it through Firefox. No luck.

    Next to Zenger blacking out games for in state KU fans, this is the dumbest single stunt by a university athletic department I have yet witnessed.

    They go to the trouble of compiling and posting statistics and then hide them with headlines!

    “Oooh, make me wanna holler!”–Marvin Gaye

    And this has not yet been corrected 7 games into Georgetown’s season.

    What kind of moron does GUAD have running their web site?

    Don’t Georgetown fans that ever look at their team’s web site and stats?

    Does Georgetown actually have any fans?

    Is the Georgetown arena just filled with thousands of latex love dolls dressed in Hoya shirts?

    Does anyone actually attend Georgetown University at all?

    Or is it just a paper school?

    Does it just give online degrees?

    Is there really a John Thompson 2.0?

    Was there ever really a John Thompson 1.0?

    Or have Georgetown University and Georgetown basketball always just been FEMA Continuity of Government created illusions injected into our minds by some Tesla Tower in New Jersey that mind controls us all into believing in continuity of basketball?

    Fix your flipping site, Hoyas, or give better directions about how to shed the side bar, will ya?


  • Alright, alright, I figured it out. All I had to do was stretch my window the full width of my Cinerama-sized computer screen and the stats were revealed.

    I stretched it out a bunch the first time without effect. But finally, I stretched it to the full width of this new computer screen spanning two time zones that my wife got me, and now I find the Hoya Paranoia stats fully visible.

    I apologize, Hoyas.

    Looks like there was no Tesla Tower.

    No FEMA COG mind control conspiracy.

    Looks like there was just one, impatient, tech-challenged moron here.

    And it was me. 🙂

  • @jaybate-1.0

    That’s what they want you to think! The more logical explanation is the NSA is running the GU website and was keeping certain stats hidden until you hit the required number of attempts to widen the screen and unlock the keys to beating the Hoyas!

    Let me be the first to say “thank you!”

  • Actually Jaybate, the statistic is true. Josh Smith does weigh 350 pounds.

  • 10 signs Jaybate has slipped into near dementia.

    10 Claims he talks to Phog Allen daily

    9 Went to Memorial Stadium to watch a KU basketball game and AFH to watch a football game. Couldn’t figure out why AFH was full for a football game.

    8 Still believes Dewey defeated Truman

    7 Awarded himself a PHOF the other day.

    6 Likes Missouri

    5 Claims he has a voodoo doll of Derrick Rose and made him miss the FT’s in the 2008 championship game.

    4 Claims he taught James Naismith the game of basketball and should himself be credited with the invention of basketball.

    3 Says he has a pet Jayhawk and takes him out for a walk every day and terrifies little Missourians with it.

    2 Believes KU football will supplant Alabama as the national favorite…next year.

    1 Incorporated the Rock Chalk Jayhawk chant into his wedding vows.

    (as you like to say JB, All fiction, no malice)

  • @wissoxfan83


  • @jaybate-1.0 Howling is another sign of dementia.

  • @wissoxfan83

    “Ten More Signs the 'Bate Is Getting Senile”

    Injects crimson food coloring in the yolk of one sunny side up egg and blue into the other yolk.

    Goes to the hair club for men and asks for hair plugs and a weave on his shoulders.

    Mistakes Rosy O’Donnell for Olivia Wilde.

    Challenges HEM to a game of objectivity.

    Challenges 'Slayr to 1 on 1 on the chains at his favorite playground and bets a grand he can take him.

    Attempts a citizen’s arrest of the Director of Homeland Security for unconstitutional torture AND double parking.

    Insists Joe of Joe’s Submarines fame was actually Julia Child in drag working as a CIA embed during the fractious Sixties and the Subjugation Seventies.

    Buys a USAF surplus A-10 Warthog and starts flying over Olivia Wilde’s house hoping to impress her with his loitering ability.

    Donates a tidy sum to start a museum collection of stuffed and living Jayhawks thinking the bird is an endangered species rather than just a mythical mascot.

    Starts arguing that the Hi-Lo was actually created by George Halas and Gale Sayers over pops one night on a napkin in a bar in Chicago during Sayers rookie season, when he introduced the NFL to a level of elusiveness and greatness that it has not seen since.

    Insists on using Preparation H for lip balm.

    Perseverates on accusing @wissoxfan83 of dynamite fishing in the bayous of Louisiana, while weighting the sticks of TNT by packing them in cheese curds from Wisconsin Cheeseman.

    Swears Roy is at least 6-10, or 6-11.

    (Note: All fiction. No malice. Dementia is just increasingly undirected creativity.)

  • @wissoxfan83

    Re-howling! i.e., redementing.

  • @wissoxfan83

    Josh Smith used to play at UCLA and has played KU twice. In 2010 he had good game with 17 points and 1e rebounds in the game that KU won at AFH with a last second free throw by Mario Little. The next year KU beat UCLA handily in Maui and Smith had 1 point and 1 rebound in 13 minutes of play. H e was playing at 305 pounds back then an got easily winded He transferred to Georgetown and he is now playing at 350 pounds. While he is surprisingly athletic, he can’t be very mobile at that weight and his endurance in fast paced game against mobile players could be suspect as well.

    He is famous for air-balling balling this layup.

  • @wissoxfan83

    You forgot…

    11 - Scrolling through one of his long post on your cell phone now uses only 20% of the battery life instead of the usual 30%.

    (Note: half fiction-half truth. No malice.)

  • Insists @JayHawkFanToo is absolutely correct in his anal fixations on post length, bandwidth and battery supply in a world of unlimited cloud storage capacity, massive pipes, and in-car chargers and portable battery backups . 🙂

  • collage.jpg

    I’m probably your age Jaybate and I get them mixed up all the time.

  • @wrwlumpy


  • Takes credit for Andrea Hudy’s scientific research and responsibility for her good hair days.

    Insists that Fred Quartlebaum is not bald, but rather hair challenged.

    Argues that Kurtis Townsend has a lousy fashion sense and that neither Norm Roberts, nor Danny Manning, can coach big men a lick.

    Insists the Campanile is a Free Mason monument code indicating via geometric ratios where and when the Illuminati will overthrow representative governments around the world.

    Claims Putin once played guard for Kentucky.

    (Note: still all fiction. Still no malice.)

  • @wrwlumpy Aaaahhhhhh…My eyes, my eyes. Make it go away. We should have a code of decency. Last week it was the Kardasihan ladies (?) and now Rosie. Come on people show some consideration towards your fellow posters.

  • @JayHawkFanToo Yes I remember those games, particularly the game at AFH. He was really good.

    I also watched him play in the turkey week game against Wisconsin. He was tough, pushed Kaminsky around in the lane quite a bit, but he kind of wore down as the game went on. Georgetown did impress me however that day. They had a guard Rivera who torched us for 29 points. The only three he missed was the three that would have tied the game in the final seconds. We might want to mark him up pretty good.

  • @brooksmd

    Still laughing while I clean coffee from the keyboard…:)

  • @jaybate-1.0

    “Or have Georgetown University and Georgetown basketball always just been FEMA Continuity of Government created illusions injected into our minds by some Tesla Tower in New Jersey that mind controls us all into believing in continuity of basketball?”

    The buildings on campus are made of cardboard. It’s like a Hollywood set. It’s just a funnel for tax dollars. Gotta spend them some how. If you go behind the set you will see a big drain, where the money goes. I’m curious where the plumbing ends.

    “Ten More Signs the 'Bate Is Getting Senile”

    You are in the clear. One of the tests for senility is to ask yourself if you are senile. As long as the answer is “no” there is a distinct possibility you are senile. Senile people are incapable of diagnosing their own senility. They think everyone else is crazy.

    The next question is: how did I know this?

    I constantly remind myself that I’m senile… trying… trying… trying.

  • @JayHawkFanToo

    I remember when we were in the running to get him in transfer. I lobbied up and down for us to pass, and good thing we did because we got Black instead.

    All Smith did was get suspended after first semester last year

  • @drgnslayr


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