HYPER EXCLUSIVE--jSPN Story Goes Viral...Azubuike Getting Minutes at Point Guard

  • HYPER EXCLUSIVE: Coach Bill Self–tireless in his attempts to take players out of their comfort zones to trigger more getting better–is now giving Udoka Azubuike significant reps at point guard according jSPN stringers that have penetrated campus security at the KU basketball practice facility.

    Note: Azubuike has also been assigned his final KU playing height and weight. He will be listed at 7’9" tall and 693 pounds without shoes. This slight exaggeration of his height and length was decided after joint market research with the campus advertising school and the marketing department of the KU Business school indicate that this height and weight would be the scariest measurements for a point guard. Lesser heights and weights tested triggered less fear and terror. Greater heights and weights tested triggered too much disbelief.

    jSPN stringers used a tunnel boaring machine to excavate their way to center court, and further under the coaches offices, where they learned the details above and to follow.

    Azubuike playing point guard reportedly will be used at key moments in games to change the tempo of close games by having the largest point guard in the history of college, or pro game, deliberately bring the ball up court, cross half court, and then begin accelerating on his way to the rim. At the same time Azubuike begins the drive to iron, KU players will clear to both wings. jSPN stringers report debate within the KU Coaching Staff as to whether a kick out option will be developed for Azubuike. Presently, the staff is divided about 50/50. One half believes such an option would not be needed unless Azubuike were to stay a full four seasons and finally be stopped in his senior season by an equally large match up. The other half of the staff believes Azubuike will likely jump this season, or next, and so there is no need to develop the kick out option.

    In order to prevent injury in practice to KU players guarding Azubuike, Self has procured services of a Lawrence PD Swat Team truck that is parked at center court and reversed backwards toward the rim as Azubuike drives to the rim. Despite the precaution, jSPN stringers report at least two drivers of the Swat Team vehicle have sustained injuries from Azubuike violently dunking on the truck’s grille.


  • @jaybate-1.0

    If memory serves correct, I believe Udoka in the Mickey D game,had a moment of PG where he got the ball in the open court and was forced to dribble. I’m not sure the outcome was successful but Self must have saw something he liked out of it

  • @BeddieKU23 think that was a fail, but maybe summer scrimmage game he did it. Camp game maybe?

  • Kudunka-pg/ Bragg sg/JJ sf/Devonte pf/ Frank - c. Inside out, baby!

  • @KUSTEVE And upside down. Cindy as coach!

  • @jaybate-1.0 My sources around the big 12 say the other teams have hacked the system and are already trying with little success to prepare for this development. Imagine trying to take the charge!

    Both Lon and Huggie have rented a hummer and a Ford F-150 respectively and are using said vehicles to run over players to try to simulate taking a charge from Udunka at full throttle. Reports from Norman and Hicktown: Because all the bulbs are not blinking in WV, two players are in critical condition. One starter. Lon did have the good sence to use a manager (God rest his soul, oh wait, he was from OK, so the other guy may be barbecuing his soul). In the Little Apple, my stringer reported multiple bovine being removed from gym. It was overheard that Weber was planning funeral arrangements.

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