More Precepts, Sayings and Clarified Basketball In-Your-Endoes of Lao Tsu-bate

  • A 50/50 ball should be all yours.

    An ugly win should be followed by plastic surgery with anesthetic. An ugly loss should be followed with plastic surgery with stimulant.

    Putting plastique in your shoes is an easy way to explode out of your position…once.

    A rebound starts with a bound, but a turnover starts with neither a turn, nor an over, just a half baked pop tart.

    To come up big, is not the same as playing with an erection under your silks after seeing Erin Andrews handle a microphone.

    A charge is a credit against one’s future movement.

    Keeping the ball moving is not the same as passing the ball to adjust the family jewels.

    Stripping an opponent is de-balling him without castrating him.

    A tie is better than kissing your sister, but not as good as kissing someone else’s sister, and about the same as kissing a bi-sexual woman that may or may not be using you for a free dinner.

    Coming from behind in basketball is not to be confused with climbing the back of Everest, or barking like a weimerranner.

    A good rim protector in basketball is similar to a chastity belt that prevents 65% of the attempts on the queen–useful but not sufficient.

    Thinking too much while playing leads to not playing well, but thinking too little leads to not playing at all.

    (Note: all jest. No malice.)

  • @jaybate-1.0

    A little Freudian feel to this post?

  • @VailHawk

    I think you’re projecting. 😄

  • @jaybate-1.0


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