Counter Hype

  • Pound for pound, The Big Red Dog, Clifford Alexander, will be the best big man on the floor. Not one of UK’s footers is better.

    Kelly Oubre will unquestionably be the greatest athletic freak on the floor. No UK 3/4 man has his wingspan, or his in the air game. Not one.

    Svi is the next Larry Bird. None of UK’s freshman are going to be as good as Svi will become. He doesn’t just have a high ceiling, he has a 60 story sky scraper on his foundation.

    Frank Mason is going to eat Tyler Uliis alive. His is then going to pick his teeth with one of Tyler’s skinned metacarpal filanges. (Note: all you still billies down their with shared genes. Don’t think for a second that cracked toothers and inbred gun rackers send any chill down the backs of Marine Raiders Battalion Jayhawk. We are trained to take real estate and destroy what gets in the way. Fear is not part of our equation. We are not trained to take prisoners, and we have not provisions for doing so. We are a basketball expeditionary force come to kill enemy and take a 90 long piece of real estate.) Seriously, Mason is going to suffocate Tyler defensively, then take him inside and score on him until Cal pulls him out, and then when Cal sends him back in, Mason is going to flat behead him.

    Wayne Selden will guaranty that on of the Harrison Twins gets ZERO open looks. And he will hurt the pussy with manly contact and ripped out strength, while doing it.

    When the other sissy Harrison Twin is in, Brannen Greene will mad stork him into submission and Brannen, while being tall enough to completely draw the blinds on his open looks, will in turn launch a torrent of threes that he has been saving up till Self gave him a green light.

    Svi, who at 17, is already use to playing with grown men, will laugh at the effeminate twigs that UK calls its Mickey D backups, and proceed to wing distribute and drain treys in ways the little wet behind the ears UK freshman will wet their diapers trying to stop with straight legged defense and amateur reaching.

    KU’s version of Rodin’s Thinker, Perry “I Score, Therefore I Am” Ellis, will slide off the lines and slide off the spots and spin for scores and drawn fouls almost at will against the big slow footed clods like Willy Cauley-Stein.

    Jamari “Plastique” Traylor will explode into their faces, into their chests, into their air space, into their passing lanes, and in their heads. Not one of these UK weenies is going to have seen a 6-6 post man run the floor, and dust the top of the back board, and bring blast effect all over the faces of the UK children like Plastique can bring.

    Lucas and Mickelson are ten painful fouls in the trenches, where UK thinks height makes right, but where UK is about to learn that hurt makes right. Welcome to the 21st Century equivalent of John Salley and Bill Laimbeer–the Baaaaaaad Boys 2.0. They are out to damage the OAD merchandize that we KNOW the UK OADs’ advisors will have ordered their OADs to protect all game, because we know how that shizz works.

    And more counter hype will follow if needed.

    (Note: of course, this is all just counter hype to counterbalance the UK hype. No malice.)

  • @jaybate-1.0 You forgot to include that Coach Self will hold a seminar on X’s and O’s. He will also school Cal on how to make plays out of time outs and how to close in the last 2 minutes! No malice lol…

  • @Statmachine

    OMG! How did I overlook THOSE???

    You have the hang of this better than I have.

    I must confess some disappointment that we two are the only ones into the Hype/Counter-Hype game so far. 🙂

    Let’s see if I can come up with another one.


    Cin has better hair than Ellen.

    Tyler could take anyone of Cal’s kids to iron and score on them.

    Kurtis Townsend has fabulously superior cuff links to any UK assistant.

    KU’s best bald player, Danny, was vastly better than UK’s best bald player.

    Wilt was better than any two Kentucky players.

    A Jayhawk is a cleaner, better looking mascot than a Wildcat.

    Self could get Brown a job and Cal couldn’t.

    Self could take Cal today in a game of one on one, even if Self were wearing a blindfold.

  • @jaybate-1.0 More people need to join in the fun. I would have said something sooner but I am at work and I was busy as hell for the last couple hours. Maybe HCBS can do another most interesting man in the world skit for tonight. It could say something like “I don’t always eat sea food but when I do I eat pieces of Calipari for dinner” pun intended!

  • @jaybate-1.0** I must confess some disappointment that we two are the only ones into the Hype/Counter-Hype game so far. 😀** I just got home. Reporting for duty…

  • I am really pumped for this game (goes without saying). I just hope I can keep it a bit more under control than I did for last years Champions Classic. I unfortunately overserved myself during the UK vs. MSU game and the end of the KU victory was extremely blurry. I think I was just excited as the tickets a friend gave me for the game ended up being on the floor!

    This year from the couch I am hoping to drink less and remember more of the 2nd straight KU Champions Classic victory. Although it is easier said than done as just thinking about how much I loathe Coach Cal makes me need a drink.

    My predictions in brief. KU 82-75. Selden and Ellis both put up 18 but our team defense is the story as the Harrison twins both have off nights caused by traps and incredibly scrappy KU defense!!

  • @joeloveshawks cheers!!! Good story, be safe on your couch!

  • @Crimsonorblue22 I might have to drink an adult beverage tonight. Now, THAT doesn’t happen nearly as often as it should, as I am careening down the path of the teetotaler. This, from a guy who never missed a liquid Friday at the Hawk, and experienced way too many drink and drown Monday nights at Ichabods. Oh, the shame!!!


    “I must confess some disappointment that we two are the only ones into the Hype/Counter-Hype game so far. 😀 I just got home. Reporting for duty…”

    Hey, wait a minute! I just got home, too!

    We are a couple hours away from taking the hammer-drill to the Wildcats!

    Mickelson has been busy watching old tapes of Cole during the UNC game in '08 and is ready for the job!

  • @drgnslayr Damn, I like the way you think. HAMMERTIME!!!

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