HAWKFAN ANNOUNCES RETURN FOR ANOTHER SEASON
Sources close to kubuckets.com confirm that longtime University Of Kansas supporter nwhawkfan has announced that he will return to the chatroom for the 2020-21 season.
In a statement released today, Mr. Hawkfan said: “I’ve talked it over with my family and friends, and we all feel that this decision is the best one for my long-term future as a Jayhawk fan, mental health notwithstanding.
“I had considered offers to take my talents to the NBA, but I’m convinced that this is the right decision. Besides, I’m still pissed that they moved the Kings out of Kansas City and the Sonics out of Seattle.
“I briefly thought about following the G-whiz League, but writing posts about marginal pro players does not quite hold my interest when compared to the glory and tradition that is KU Basketball. I also could have turned my literary attention to the WWE, but I am somewhat hampered by my aversion to bad acting.”
“I wish to thank all of my fellow kubuckets contributors for helping me make this decision. I’ll continue to sharpen my skills in the offseason through daily workout sessions with my thesaurus, as I strive to help bring another national championship to KU.
“Finally, while the stay-at-home order remains in effect, I’ll continue to consult with Doctor Fauci, Doctor Oz, Doctor Seuss, Rug Doctor, and especially Doctor Pepper and Rum, in order to make myself a better fan and contributor.
“Please forward all media inquiries to my agent….oops, I mean my distant cousin.
“Stay safe. Thank you. Rock Chalk Jayhawk.”