Privilage nonsense part 1

  • @benshawks08 Of course, this privilege baloney is preceded most all of the time by hard work. That means someone worked hard so they can pay for things, like paying for their kids’ college. The best lesson you can teach is that life is unfair but hardwork prevails. But don’t confuse unfairness with privilege — it’s unfair that a kid has horrible parents, a dad that is absent, a mom on crack, or other bad circumstances. The flip side, though, is not “privilege.” Unless you think what I earn is yours. When you use “privilege” as you did you imply the pervasive victim complex that is championed by one side of the isle. And that never once got a kid to college. I find it quite unfair that because I work and pay for my kids college, others don’t and get a large part of college for free. My kids, as adults, have to claim my income so they don’t/didn’t qualify for any grants/government money. But my tax dollars pay for others. Fair?

    The reality is that every kid that works and wants to go to college, can go to college.

    By the way, Ben McLemore, his family, and his family’s family is set for life if he plays it smart. He earned $18 million over 5 season, and then had a base salary of $5.4 million for 2018-19. Not sure if it was guaranteed this past season but I think it was. Total $23.5 million.

  • @bcjayhawk mine was only thoughtful and insightful after having it pointed out to me that I was being the opposite of that, but thank you. @benshawks08 was especially gracious and @Crimsonorblue22 is always sweet and thoughtful. Almost. Always. Lol

  • @HighEliteMajor Privilege sounds like baloney until you look at it from a different perspective.

    I used to be a pull yourself up by your bootstraps type of person. Then I got a big dose of the hurdles that young people who grow up in poverty have to overcome to pull themselves up by their bootstraps. Yes I am a product of privilege because I had a mom and dad who did a lot for me to nurture and love me and support me in whatever I wanted to do. They had the means to do so. That makes me privileged.

    Now take away my father. Now I’ve lost one very good role model. I’ve lost a good provider. I’ve lost a man who taught me to be a man. Single moms, or single dads, obviously can make up for a lot of that but it’s more difficult. Missing one parent, you’re less privileged.

    Now put yourself in a substandard school. You have no choice. Economics have you in that district where textbooks are 10 years old, and stadium lights explode during games, and metal gates are set up in hallways, and where schools go all year without a math teacher for 9th graders because they can’t hire one. When you avoid going to a school like that you’re privileged.

    Go home from school and mom comes home from a long day of low wages and stops by the corner store to pick up some substandard prepackaged food without fresh veggies and fruits because you live in a grocery desert. The good stores are a long busride away. When you have good quality food to eat on a regular basis you’re privileged.

    When you walk through an airport and security doesn’t whisk you away from the president you’re walking with, that’s privilege. Ask Condoleeza Rice about that one.

    I could go on. Please understand what people are talking about when they say privilege. Goodness the opposite term has been in our lexicon for a century or more, ‘underprivileged’. I’d guess you’ve called kids underprivileged at some point. Really no difference.

  • @wissox I’m so very happy those kids have you and @benshawks08 in their lives! You guys do make a difference.

  • Thanks!

  • If you’ve never had to come home from school and find all of the belongings of your apartment on the curb because your parent(s) got evicted, then you have privilege. “If you desire to go to college you can”, while there is some truth to that, when you attend 4 schools in one year on average, it is incredibly more difficult. “Unless you think what I earn is yours.” Preferential admissions to college is a tough issue I admit. But when families of color for centuries have had what they earned taken by people who didn’t earn it, there’s nothing wrong with telling kids here’s an opportunity for you to go to college, even if your scores are a little lower. I told my daughter that when she complained that a friend of hers with a slightly less excellent SAT score was qualified to go to Harvard and my daughter wasn’t. My daughter didn’t even want to go to Harvard, and got into an excellent college herself partially based on the privilege she enjoyed growing up.

    And if you really want perspective changing information, read about redlining. It created most of the slums that our country has now. I have no time now to discuss it. But it’s worth looking into objectively.

  • Wait… so because someone has two patents who work and provide for their children like they are supposed to do makes them privileged!!!

    Surely I’m misinterpreted that.

  • This isn’t complicated. If you don’t have to wonder where your next meal is coming from as a child yes you were more privileged. It’s not a negative thing, it just is what it is.

    And there was literally just a scandal uncovered with kids getting into college through illegitimate means, ringers taking the tests for them etc…

    @wissox Spot on and I agree it is important to know about redlining.

  • I hate how the word privilege gets thrown around nowadays. I’m considered privileged because of my skin color tho both my parents have been married and divorced 3 times. I’ve thrown all I could fit into a Walmart sack in the middle of night to leave as child more than I ever care to discuss. I’ve been abandoned, beaten and everything in between at multiple points in my life. But none of that counts, I’m white. My 3 year old son has autism, we met with the state last week to see what assistance we can apply for. There is an 8 year waiting list once he turns 5. But if we were Hispanic we would have assistance right now from what the lady told us. I dont like talking about privilege…

  • @kjayhawks I tried not to put race into the conversation because I’ve worked with kids who are white and have many of the same disadvantages as people of color. The family is a part of this whole question. It must be tough what you’re experiencing. Hang in there!

  • Definitely. As someone who has worked with trying to get people back on track there are plenty of white kids in underprivileged situations. There are systemic issues that keep many poor people poor. Some of the hardest working people I know never amassed any wealth.

  • @kjayhawks It all counts. It all counts. The whole point of talking about privilege is to get closer to understanding how much it ALL counts. No two people have the same experiences. That doesn’t mean some people deserve less.

    Your son is part of the many reasons we have to fight the privatization of schools. Private schools have no mandate to server your kid, public schools do. I taught special education for 5 of my 11 years. Your son deserves every opportunity and so does every other kid at his school. Public schools are farrrrrrr from perfect and I don’t begrudge someone looking to a private school if it serves their child’s needs better, but every kid needs access to a free and appropriate placement for education.

    @wissox I tried to keep race out of it too for the most part, but it counts. Just like everything @kjayhawks said counts.

    @BShark Systems is really the key, right? I believe most individuals are truly doing the best they can but systems and power can take even small biases and cripple large groups of people. Doesn’t mean it was on purpose, but doesn’t mean it should be ignored.

  • @benshawks08 I glad you mentioned the need to fight school privatization. So many people seem to support the idea, and I find it hard to believe they don’t realize that children with disabilities would not be served in at least the majority of private schools.

  • bcjayhawk said:

    @benshawks08 I glad you mentioned the need to fight school privatization. So many people seem to support the idea, and I find it hard to believe they don’t realize that children with disabilities would not be served in at least the majority of private schools.

    The principal at the public school I went to wanted to force out the mentally handicapped kids for crying out loud.

  • BShark said:

    bcjayhawk said:

    @benshawks08 I glad you mentioned the need to fight school privatization. So many people seem to support the idea, and I find it hard to believe they don’t realize that children with disabilities would not be served in at least the majority of private schools.

    The principal at the public school I went to wanted to force out the mentally handicapped kids for crying out loud.


  • @BShark I don’t know of any schools around here where the principal would have that authority.

  • Crimsonorblue22 said:

    @BShark I don’t know of any schools around here where the principal would have that authority.

    I don’t think he exactly did, but he worked towards it however he could. Not sure if it ended up happening or not. It was purely for financial reasons too, he is an ahole.

  • @BShark My uncle has been a superintendent for 20 years, shit like that happens every where behind closed doors.

  • I don’t think that “shit” happens everywhere. School board has the final say. You can’t make those kids disappear.

  • @Crimsonorblue22 Their making my kid disappear and the school board has had zero to do with at this point. You have too much faith in people friend.

  • @kjayhawks not faith, but knowledge

  • @Crimsonorblue22 What control does the school board have in my situation. Kid are allowed to switch districts in this area all the time for sports and they do it with no trouble. We would like my son to be at an all day preschool so he can get more assistance instead of 3 hours a day, 4 days a week. We have another meeting this month before our fate is sealed.

  • @Crimsonorblue22 It’s much them saying to us at this point “We don’t want to deal with your kid, now GTFO”. We can only fight so much before it worries me that we will win the battle then and I’ll be worried for them to treat my kid poorly.

  • The only way you can change schools for sports is by sitting out a semester, unless you move into that district. We had a jr hi kid switch to our school this year, lives in our district, but his catholic school wouldn’t release him for fb. He played bb second semester. I’ll ask my good friend about the preschool thing, she’s a KS runner up for teacher of the year, kindergartner teacher. I hope you go in with a better attitude than you sound on here. If the same program is not offered in your district would probably be your best bet. Perhaps it’s easier for your job to get him there, things like that. I’m assuming you would send your son to his school in your district when he goes to kindergarten?

  • @Crimsonorblue22 They are only giving us a hard time at this point because they can. We have 2 small towns that make up one district that we currently live in. The next bigger town is its own district. We are being told because we live in that district we absolutely have to go there. The kicker is that there are 8 Kids within our block where we live that all go to the big district(grade school level). They tell us they just simply enrolled in the bigger district with no hoops to jump thru. Yes the highschool aged kids that have transferred have had to sit a semester fro sports. They are telling us living in one and going to another is not allowed, period. But it doesn’t add up why we are the only family getting jazz for wanting more support for our kid.

  • @kjayhawks that really doesn’t make sense, do they go to the preschool program or grade school? I’ll ask my friend. Might have to do w/federal funds. Believe me, most of my close friends are teachers and administrators, they put the kids first. They also work endless hrs. I’ll check around.

  • @Crimsonorblue22 My point exactly, dozen of people have told us this and my wife is a former teacher herself. But if they decide not to let us in, then there isn’t much we can do. We have a doctors note and a family heath care advocate that are going to the next meeting to help. They all agree that going to an all day preschool will help him with development and is without question the best place for him. Now you see why I have little faith in people, any time in my life anyone has had the chance to screw me in some way, they have with no exceptions.

  • @kjayhawks but you can’t have that can of attitude! It tears you down. Plus you don’t want your kids to grow up w/having that hanging over you. May have a reason, you may know this. They only take so many kids, of course, in district kids would be first. They can’t take out of district kids and not take kids in the district. I’m working w/a teacher today that had kids in a 4 yr old preschool program. He said the only exception would be if a parent was teaching in the district. I think you have what you need for your meeting, just be a super caring parent, not guns ablazing! Ask them for suggestions? I will still talk to my other friend.🙏

  • @kjayhawks Kill em with kindness and assume good intent. Those two things have gotten me a long way even with people who do NOT have good intent. I don’t know much about Pre K systems especially in small towns. I do know that many systems build in loop holes or simply ignore their own rules in “special circumstances” and those special circumstances are always reserved for people of privilege. If you have enough money or know the right people you can usually get your way and that is often the sad truth. But that is more about the system and the people in power than other parents trying to do what’s best for their kids. I also know if people look for disrespect and slights against them they can always find them. But the same can be said if they look for good. I’m not going to tell you you are being treated fairly or unfairly because I just don’t know.

    So much research is being done around autism right now that I truly believe your child has a bright future. Have you seen the movie Temple Grandin? HBO made it several years ago and it’s based on a true story. It’s certainly not representative of what ALL families with autism go through but it’s a beautiful story about rethinking the way we look at things and treat people. I wish you all the luck and positivity in doing all you can for your kid.

  • @benshawks08 I love that movie! She spoke to our ffa group a couple of years ago. Wow!

  • @Crimsonorblue22 We’ve seen that movie too. Great stuff. If you want to hear her speak, there’s a podcast called “The January Series of Calvin College” and she spoke at that school in 2011. The podcast is still there. Fascinating story from her.

    As per the other discussion it varies a little place by place but as a rule, public schools can’t just kick out a kid because they’re disabled. But I’ve been on the receiving end of many a kid kicked out of public charter schools (in almost all cases because of behavior) and we had no choice, we had to serve them educationally. They generally were not my best and brightest unfortunately.

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