Jokes
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Moses initially climbed the wrong mountain, a nearby volcano, he came down with the Molten Commandments.
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Two missionaries to a tribe of cannibals are put into a large pot and the fire is lit. One of them starts laughing. The other says how can you laugh at a time like this? He said, "I just peed in their soup".
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The cannibal dad came home late for dinner and his wife gave him the cold shoulder.
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Four people are on a plane (a doctor, a lawyer, a schoolboy, and a priest) when it starts to go down. The pilot jumps out with the first parachute, saying "Good luck!".
The doctor grabs one and says, "I save lives, I must live!" and jumps.
The lawyer shouts, "I am the smartest person in the world, I deserve to live!" and grabs the next parachute.
The priest turns to the schoolboy and says, "My son, I have lived a full life. Take the last parachute."
The schoolboy smiles and says, "Relax Father. The smartest man in the world just jumped out with my bookbag" -
@nuleafjhawk Last time I heard that one the Dead Sea was sick.
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A guy sits down next to three blondes at a bar and says to the one closest to him "hey, you want to hear a blonde joke?" She replies "I'm the middle weight kick boxing champion of the world. My friends here are the reigning MMA champion and the current winner of "Naked andAfraid". Are you sure you want to tell us blonde jokes?
He paused for a second and said "Nah. I don't want to have to explain it three times "
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A little humor goes a long way. Thanks for sharing and making me smile.
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A couple's young daughter went to college.
After 6 months she happily let them know she was engaged to a student who is studying to be a pastor, and is bringing him home for the holidays.And after the introductions the father and the boy sat and the father asked: " How old are you?"
Fiance:"19"
Father: "And where are you going to live?"
Fiance: "God will provide."
Father: "And where are you going to get money?"
Fiance: "God will provide."
Later that night the mother asked the father: "What do you think of him?"
And the father: "He seems to be a nice guy, he thinks I am God."
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What do you call a guy walking across a street?
A pedestrian
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These remind me of an injury I sustained last week while playing peekaboo with neighbors baby, was a rough outing that ended in the ICU.
