**jSPN RETROACTIVE COMMENTARY:** Or All the 20/20 Hindsight Commentary that's Fit to Post After Ramblers Skin the Kitties

  • (NOTE: this fake commentary was written AFTER Loyola beat KSU and demonstrates one possible future scenario of sports commentary.)

    As the KSU-Loyola game approaches one is tempted to ask: which would be the greater Cinderella Story?

    Well, one simple answer would be KSU, because Loyola has actually won a March Carney.

    But the March Carney has become worldly (or has it always been so?).

    So: more in depth wild, irreverent speculation and comedic commentary is required to fit this cockamamie anomaly of a tournament seeding committee wet dream.

    Entertainment values would appear to dictate Loyola would defeat KSU, because it would be the bigger Cinderella story, and Chicago would stimulate more eyeballs and betting than Manhattan, Kansas.

    Duke beating KU would be better for entertainment values, than vice versa, too, but bet balancing with Duke and KU is going to be a real problem. I am not sure the talking heads were redirected to hype KU soon enough to bring the betting into balance. On the other hand, tremendously imbalanced pre-game betting would be ideal for intelligence organizations to bet their drug monies needing laundering on KU, bring betting into balance, but this scenario would work only if KU were made to win.

    Bottom line?

    Loyola could never beat KSU in a million years despite Loyola’s RPI being meaninglessly higher at this time of year.

    Loyola beating KSU could never happen and would approach WTC VII falling in its own footprint without being hit.

    Yet entertainment values make it all so very complicated now. What ever happened to the joyful innocence the days when Manhattan, Kansas, native son could write of Sky Masterson, Nathan Detroit, and Big Julie from Chicago. What happened to the days when Hollywood and Broadway rewriters could schlep out Guys and Dolls based on it with saucy, catchy, pithy lyrics like…

    "Sit down, sit down, sit down sit down,

    Sit down you’re rockin’ the boat!"

    May the better teams win both games.


    Loyola beat KSU. Surprise. Surprise. Surprise!

    (Note: all fiction. No malice.)