Billy Preston and Dad moving to Lithuania....and other fake news

  • Mildcats got a new sponsorship from Special K and will wear a uniform that will say Special K State.

    Speaking of special k state, a new special basketball class for the mildcats teaches such things as what an octagon actually is, why the name silo tech is fitting for them and why they will never achieve the success of either of the other DI programs in Kansas.

    Speaking of special k, Coach K now has a new endorsement with the cereal brand and will be required to eat a bowl of their cereal during one of the TV timeouts. He will be paid immediately after finishing the bowl and then will be required to give the money to the officials and TV announcers. And he will be henceforth known as Special Coach K.

    And speaking of special K they have also entered a sponsorship with the other mildcats we hate. They will also need to change their uniform and it will read SUK across the chest.

    Bill Self has been contacted by Dick Wolf about cowriting a new Law and Order series called KU Law and Order. The series will focus on the fascinating world of law that involves getting players eligible to play college basketball. The show will include cameo’s from Cliff Alexander, Cheick Diallo, Ben Mclemore, Jamari Traylor, Josh Selby, Silvio DeSousa, John Philip Sousa, Sammy Sosa, and of course, the aforementioned Billy Preston.

    Teams are really optimistic about playing Kansas now. Missouri just contacted the KUAthletic Department about playing a game on Christmas morning with the loser having to give their presents to the winners. The wish list of KU players just got more expensive.

    One and dones will no longer be called that after the NCAA entered a deal with Dunkin’s. They’ll now be called One and Donuts.

    Donald Trump just exiled Tripper Allen to his cousin in Pyongyang. Tripper quickly put kjil to the test and tripped him. Services will be monday at the Korean clown college with speaker Special Kim Jung Il providing the eulogy.

  • Lithuania? Not for me, man. No no no. I might have fallen out of consideration for the June lottery, but, Hey, I’m sleepin’ on satin sheets, eatin’ well, and the monthly stipend provides petrol for my wheels. And NOBODY…repeat, NOBODY is gonna fleece me of these wheels!

  • @wissox You are on fire!!

  • One thing that we should all celebrate - we are missing key players, not playing anywhere near our best ball, we are 7-2 and ranked 13th in the country and all of us are TICKED OFF.

    Man, it is so great to be a KU basketball fan !!!

  • @nuleafjhawk Yes…We are spoiled. (And really lucky)

  • @nuleafjhawk

    Interesting. When the football team was 1-7 none and ranked 13th from the bottom, none of us seemed that upset. 😄

  • @JayHawkFanToo That’s because if we’ve one one game per year, we’re happy.

    Get a petition to make me the coach!!!

    We won’t win any more games, but we’ll have a lot of fun, the fans will be entertained and I’ll make 10 times what I’m making now and STILL save the University a buttload of money.

  • Where/who is Billy’s Dad? He has two moms.