~Hoiberg sends ISU stalker fan down to follow Bill around until Bill can’t sleep the night before the big game.

    ~Hoiberg will bring back Johnny Orr to sit on the bench and talk endlessly about how Orr used to torment Larry Brown into making mistakes, while yelling intermitently toward the KU bench that Bill Self is just like Larry without the wanderlust.

    ~Hoiberg will bring back Tim Floyd to walk around behind the KU bench with a brief case full of money and whisper subliminal suggestions about transferring.

    ~Hoiberg brings Larry Eustachy back and tells Larry to try to party hearty with KU players’ girl friends at the Wheel the night before the game, thus upsetting the concentration of KU players.

    ~Hoiberg plans to ship the Atanasoff-Berry Computer replica, a replica of the world’s first electronic digital computer that was invented at Iowa State between 1937 and 1942, and that is now housed in Durham Center, at ISU, down to AFH to be placed behind the ISU bench, so that Hoiberg can keep track of how many time outs he has left.

    ~Hoiberg has added Nobel Prize Winner and part time ISU faculty member–chemist Dan Schecter–to his staff to covertly cover the soles of KU’s Adidas basketball shoes with no stick material made from Schecter quasi-crystals, in order to make KU players slip and fall. Schecter, an Israeli citizen, will take time off from his campaign to become President of Israel, to give KU what some wits in chemistry call the Linus Pauling slip.


    (Note: Obviously, this is all fantastically, satriically fiction. Absolutely lacking in malice.)

  • @jaybate 1.0 is this the same chemist that altered our fb teams cleats?

  • @jaybate 1.0

    Wunderbar, Herr Jaybate!

    And let’s not forget the obvious repeat of faking an ankle injury by Kane.

    Hoiberg’s motto: “Anything to win!”

  • How Larry Eustachy finally turned his life around.

  • @drgnslayr, yep, when they do it they are unscrupulous and when we do it we are wily! 🙂

  • @wrwlumpy, I truly hope Eustachy has turned his life around, because the guy could build very, very tough teams and seemed a good coaching mind on the wood.

  • ~If ISU is behind at halftime, Hoiberg plans to organize the upcoming Iowa caucuses in AFH at halftime… delaying the second half play until January, 2016.

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