jaybaticon: Rim Wide Shut

  • KU basketball fan Dr. MANISCHEVITZ “Manny” SILVERFORD, seeking to stop arguing with his wife over how his muthuh likes the matzoh prepared, during Hanukkah, goes out one night during the sacred Festival of Lights week circumscribing Christmas, and stumbles into a decadent secret society, much as William “Bill” Harford did on Christmas Eve in the enigmatic Eyes Wide Shut. At this grand, but dimly lit mansion in North Jersey, baritone-voiced men wear masks and capes, as if they were in a traume novelle and masked women wear nothing but bike athletic supporters and high heels with logos of all major shoe companies and some fictional ones also. The attendees of the macabre party play out Manny’s horniest fantasies without knowing that Manny has infiltrated them as a voyeur looking for a femme fatal named Heddy Lemarz. When Manny finds Heddy, she warns him to leave before they discover the check he wrote for a political donation to the NeoBothist Party bounced. He refuses and is charged with keepin a taxi double parked outside the mansion and threatened with the loss of his membership at the country club. Manny walks home and resumes arguing with his wife who may have had an affair in his absense, until the KU game comes on.

    (Note: all fiction. No malice.)

  • @jaybate-1.0 Entertaining as always 😏

  • Manny… Manny…

    I remember Manny. How could I forget Manny.

    He brought me a can of Surströmming. Fermented Baltic Sea Herring. A delicacy going back to the Vikings. No wonder they were able to discover a big chunk of the world in open boats.

    This is the product that makes most people vomit just upon catching a whuf:

    I was at least smart enough to open the can in my garage, but dumb enough to open the can in my garage. I left my garage door open for a week, and still couldn’t shake the pew.

    Even today, my car smells like it was pulled off the bottom of Lake Michigan. Two days ago, I pulled up to a traffic light and received a big pair of “death eyes” from the fellow in the car beside me. He was unfortunate enough to have his window cracked.

    My windows were rolled up. I discovered it is best to run air conditioning (full tilt) all of the time. The odor is reduced when I get it down to 50-degrees or lower.

    Last, I discovered that odor can stain white leather.

    The KU basketball season can’t start soon enough!

    (Note: all fiction. No malice.)

  • @drgnslayr

    Fermented Baltic Sea Herring!

    I can’t top that!!!

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