One Semester Basketball, or Sports Pimps Soliciting AGAIN

  • The metaphorical sex workers of media are not just employed by Big Media. One of the biggest bunch of sports sex workers appears to be conference commissioners.

    And one of the biggest apparent sports pimps presently might be Pac-12 Commissioner Larry Scott, who reputedly advocates a single semester season for college basketball.

    The picture below shows one example of how current sports pimps sometimes apparently dress, when they metaphorically solicit for their football stables. Remember, this is all metaphor and appearance. You are free to come up with your own derogatory reference for this sort of thing.


    Other times they appear to wear ties and appear to smile shamelessly.

    Below is an apparent example of a college sports pimp sitting in the equivalent of a pimp’s Caddy. iu-3.jpeg

    You may think of a conference athletic commissioner as a sports executive. In some ways, he/she is. But in some ways, they are also, especially in football dominated conferences, apparently sports pimps.

    How do you tell when a conference athletic commissioner is being an executive and when he/she is apparently being a sports pimp?

    Its very difficult for the uninitiated, butt here appears to be one sure way for the sports fan that can’t tell the sports pimps without a program.

    Sports pimps apparently embrace things like adopting a single semester basketball season that would wipe out an over one hundred year legacy of a civilizing and popular college sport starting in autumn and ending in spring–an endearing seasonal myth underpinning the greatest game ever invented.

    And let it be remembered that this endearing, and until now enduring, seasonal sports myth underpins a sport that has spread around the world in a way that American college football can only have psychotic delusions of grandeur about doing.

    Apparent sports pimps also embrace things like gutting one of America’s greatest and most popular and profitable sports institutions–March Madness–by moving it as if it were some 1950s seasonal whore house operating out of a dented Air Stream in the desert outside Vegas every March, to a contempo brothel to be run out of a some sun belt exurban ghost subdivision still sitting empty since the crash in 2007. Did I say once a year in May, or June?

    This level of stupidity actually makes my head hurt.

    You heard me right.

    Larry Scott embraces considering moving March Madness, apparently so the season of basketball doesn’t interfere with the butt end of his brain damaging, American-only sport of early-onset-Alzheimer’s football.

    If there were an attention-getting way to issue an online bounty to human hunt clubs on this guy, I wouldn’t do it, but I would fantasize about doing it.

    It would, of course, be a metaphorical mercy killing, but such would be utterly illegal (and immoral) and so all basketball fans are advised against such obviously illegal behavior (and bad karmic thinking). Hmmm. Let me be explicit. Don’t even fantasize about issuing a human hunt club bounty on him.

    Instead, ridicule him, as much as you can, as often as you can. Laugh him out of college sports. Make up Larry Scot jokes.

    Did you hear about Larry Scott’s office desk? Its got an Eldorado bumper on the front of it.

    Did you hear about Larry Scott’s office chair? The casters have big white side walls.

    Did you hear about Larry Scott’s wind breaker? Its made of mink.

    Did you hear the Pac-12’s is changing Larry Scott’s title from Conference Commissioner to Beverly Hills Madam?

    And so on.

    Let the name Larry Scott henceforth stand for everything that is ridiculously stupid and wrong in sport. Let him become a poster child for college sports venality. Henceforth let his name become eponymous for sports venality.

    When an AD, or an NCAA director, or a PetroShoeCo exec, or a polished Network turd, or a Big Gaming king pin, are proposing some shameless new, self-serving compromise of college basketball, let them be said to be “Larry Scotting” the game.

    Hey, don’t Larry Scott the game.

    Leave March Madness where it is.

    Straddling March and April!

    Rock Chalk!!

  • @jaybate-1.0

    You might read about him on wiki…

    “Scott has been criticized in respect of his leadership. He has been unable to secure a contract for the distribution of the PAC 12 Network with DirectTV, and, most distressing, he has not represented or defended the PAC 12 institutions against overhanded conduct of the NCAA, particularly the handing out of extremely harsh sanctions against USC’s football team. Following the disclosure of documents revealing a flawed process by the NCAA and penalties that are inexcusably out of line with established precedent, Scott has been unwilling to approach the NCAA and unable to secure any relief for one of his member institutions, notwithstanding such overwhelming facts supporting throwing out the entire penalties and findings of the NCAA against USC.”

    He’s the type of guy that wouldn’t mind pro teams selling out to another town and moving… bet he doesn’t mind all the conference moves in D1 either.

    I can hear him now… “Traditional rivalries are over-rated. We save $300 by changing schedules to teams they have never played before. And it’s fresh! Maybe people are intrigued by the freshness?!”

    Maybe not.

    Yeah… so let’s start basketball season to start practice in August and we’ll change the tourney name to “Xmas Madness.” I’m sure basketball fans aren’t football fans, too. Who wants to watch football on xmas when we could have the college basketball finals? We can make our fall pumpkin decor look like basketballs!!! I’m so excited I could sh#t myself!

    And wowwwwwwie! Now my March opens up for watching MLB spring training! This is even better than watching my local softball beer league games!

    This Larry guy is pure genius! I’m starting to think he is POTUS material! He should run!

  • @drgnslayr

    I believe he is talking about starting the season in late December and going through April; basically moving it back one month but not really changing the length that much. Not really a big change but gives students one semester to practice and get their school work in order and then apply themselves to basketball the second semester.

    If you look at all the major college sports, the great majority of them have seasons that span one semester including football, baseball, soccer, softball, volleyball, track and field, cross country, lacrosse…to name a few; the only major college sports that have seasons than last the better part of two semesters are basketball and ice hockey. So the idea is not that far fetched and in many ways, it makes sense.

  • @JayHawkFanToo

    Many ways?

    Itemize please.

  • @jaybate-1.0

    Read the first paragraph…there is a reason why most college sports seasons span only one semester.

    I know it does not seem that way and you can call me old fashioned, but universities are still places where individuals got to study and get a degree first and play sport second…at least that is the way I believe it should be…Extending the seasons just to just to showcase student-athletes for pro-scouts is actually more" pimping" than compressing the season…just my opinion.

  • @JayHawkFanToo

    Re-read the first paragraph.

    There aren’t many good reasons.


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