Still More Batetradamus

  • Bill Self will have fingers surgically added to his hands to wear simultaneously all of the conference title rings he wins.

    Bruce Weber will suspend himself for not having attracted enough players to field a KSU team.

    The KSU AD will reinstate Weber and then fire him for not having attracted enough players to field a KSU team.

    Bruce Weber will stage a mock burial of himself, then join Steve Lavin and Gene Keady begging Cuonzo Martin to give them jobs.

    Cuonzo will hire Bruce Weber, Steve Lavin and Gene Keady to break down game films for minimum wage; then Cal Berkeley will be the first ten stack to go winless.

    Bruce Pearl will buy every starter on Auburn a fire arm and take them for a ride in a convertible to show them the way things used to be.

    Bruce Pearl will also publish a new basketball book called the Austrian Offense to be published by the Ludwig von Mises Institute located at Auburn.

    Fred Hoiberg will play The Tin Man in the up coming remake of The Wizard of Oz shot on location entirely inside a tornado. The film will be written, produced and directed by Rob Riggle. Busy Bruce Weber will play both The Scarecrow and the Cowardly Lion. The scariest scene will be real genetically engineered flying monkeys terrorizing the live stock in the KSU Xperimental Barns.

    Tyler Self will, after participating in a covert DARPA experiment, average 32 ppg and become a lottery pick, but decide instead to spend 7 years in Tibet learning to walk the razor’s edge and shave.

    Scott Pollard will reveal that he and Self are building a seance club on Mass Street, where Scott will regularly take paying customers into a spirit world beyond the limit of life. The club will be called the Gustavus Myers Beyond the Limit Lounge. Women will fly for free.

    (Note: all fiction. No malice. Rock on.)

  • @jaybate-1.0

    Key question: Will Scot be able to reach Wilt? Inquiring minds want to know…

    Bruce Weber… there is a job opening in London, you may want to consider:

    Quite Likely the Worst Job Ever

    I can see Bruce finding success as a tosher…

  • @drgnslayr

    Batredamus predicts Scott will not only reach Wilt, but KU bigs this season will start shooting the finger roll and the turn around fade away–the latter of which saves their legs muscles and energy for defense, since the fadeaway removes the need to jump.

Log in to reply