jaybate 1.0 fake interview with Rider Grad Christopher Walken

  • jaybate 1.0 News Service (jNS)

    Dateline: Dimension Christopher Walken

    Slug “jaybate 1.0 interview with Christopher Walken regarding upcoming Rider game”

    jaybate 1.0: Welcome to the virtual hood, Chris.

    Christopher Walken:

    j: How bad do you think KU is going to put it to your Broncos?


    j: I have to confess, Chris, part of me fears your Broncos. They’ve got a ripped out, bouncey perimeter–the kind that can stay with our guys.


    j: And I predicted they could possibly upset KU coming off the UCSB and Kentucky games, just as I wrongly thought UCSB might catch KU not ready for a draft choice center this early in the season.


    j: But after the two games have been played, and Self went for the split with a concerted effort against UCSB and a phone it in vs. UK, I am pretty confident KU will just play through The Designer and The Big Red Dog and get a W at home inside the old fashioned way. Perry is pretty good against guys his size. He just does the atomizer against L&As, you know?


    j: You’re unusually quiet, even for you today, Chris. Do you want to talk about it?


    j: Did Scorsese turn you down for a part?


    j: Is it true you are working on an Iraq War musical? What was the title again? Uh, “Boursing for Euros with Saddam, or Invading Countries with No Connection to 9/11,” or some provocative title like that? I know you really love to hoof it and musicals are near to your heart. I hear there is a killer number where you dance across the roof of the British Museum of History in Bagdad, as its being sacked below by a hysterical crowd.


    j: I also hear you are working on a sequel to “The Deerhunter” with Cimino called “The Elkhunter.” Any truth to that?


    j: I have always felt that you got type case as a weirdo back in “Heaven’s Gate,” which by the way will one day be recognized as a great film IMHO. I finally saw the cut that Cimino said was close to what he had wanted. It was brilliant. The arrival of James Averill with all of the immigrants and all the smoke and steam blew me away, as did the roller skating scene with the imigrants. It was elegiac. And I am now currently in love with Isabelle Huppert as she appeared back then. And the truth at the center of that movie needs no defense. My great grand parents came to Kansas on an immigrant train and what the movie portrayed about the harshness of the existence was not far off from the stories I have heard recalled. As Ghandi G said, the truth is the truth, Chris.


    j: Well, I think Rider is going to give us a good game in Allen Field House, Chris, but I think KU’s trey shooting slump is going to end in that game and the combo of Frank and Svi and Branden finding the range on the same day, plus The Designer rediscovering his spin move, and the Big Red Dog not having to guard the knee caps of footers, is going to result in KU looking dominant. The only risk I see is if the trey slump goes another game. If it does, and your good guards can get Frank fouled up early; then we have trouble distributing because of Graham being out, and Selden/Svi having to committee, while Rider just sags inside, and is big enough to guard our bigs with help. In that eventuality, KU could well be 1-2. Anything you’d like to say in closing?

    CW: I really enjoyed talking the you.

    (Note: All fiction. No malice.)

  • @jaybate-1.0

    Chris Walken is great. Here’s a classic scene w Dennis Hopper in True Romance forgive me for the crudeness!

  • His strangest movie was Steve Martin’s Pennies from Heaven.

  • @wrwlumpy

    Herb Ross’ revenge on the world for not being Fred Astaire. Nearly killed Walken’s, Bernadette Peters’ AND Martin’s careers. Was it Martin, or Bernadette Peters rouging nipples? Almost made me find an Oedipal broach and put my eyes out and I normally can find a place for my heart in ambitious misfires. Shows just how far great talent can go wrong, when writers tell persons how tough life is, when they already know and don’t want to pay to experience twice.

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