9999 Some Probably False Rumors of Lovely Ladies to Attend AFH Games this Season

  • Jason Sudeikas, wearing a nomex racing suit, might bring Olivia Wilde, wearing a nomex leotard, to try to avoid Jason getting burned from spontaneous combustion.

    Paul Rudd and his lovely wife, Julie Yaeger, might bring Paul’s Ant-Man co-start Evangeline Lilly, who will use comedy to offset the intoxicating effect she has on all men with a pulse.

    Current Zeitgeist Mystery Writer par excellence Gillian Flynn might attend the KSU game to promote her “Gone Girl” book made into a “Gone Girl” flick by David Fincher, and to research a spooky sequel called “Gone Coach” loosely based on Bruce Weber with a theme of self-injury via mock premature burial. Contrary to rumor, Gillian will bring no sharp objects to the game, nor will she and Holly Rowe get into any girl talk about mutual dark places.

    Jason Hammel might bring his indie pop collaboration’ partner Kori Gardner and short out the scoreboard with an atonal Mates of State variation on “I’m a Jay, Jay, Jayhawk.”

    Former Miss Kansas USA 2007 and Miss USA runner up Cara Gorges might bring herself and her favorite shootin’ iron, a crimson and blue Winchester Model 21 skeet grade side by side with modified and improved chokes and a retro Ernie Simmons ventilated rib. Rumor is she will wear a skin tight camouflage adidas body stocking and shoot basketballs thrown overhead by Sheahon Zenger.

    Artist Ann Hamilton might attend a KU game in which she contains the entirety of Allen Field House in a virtuosic large-scale multi-media installation that converges video, sculpture, photography, textile art, printmaking, and a sports venue to create a pardigmn shifting called “Impact and Glue in Crimson.”

    Samantha Ryan might attend and make a documentary called “Thirteen Ways of Looking at The Bird.”

    (Note: all fiction. No malice.)

  • @jaybate-1.0 Any post mentioning a Winchester Model 21 gets an upvote from me! The skin tight camouflage adidas body stocking was just an added bonus! 😉


  • Thx

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