Some Things to Distract Yourself with Before the First Exhibition Game

  • Try to find a store that sells ammo that actually has 22 caliber shells for sale without having to buy a cheap rifle to go with it.

    Watch Sam Peckinpah’s “Ride the High Country” again to see Joel McCrea get gut shot at the end and say, “Don’t let them see this,” referring to two young kids as McCrea begins to die. Hear McCrea add, " I want to go alone;" then hear Randolph Scott say to his dying friend as Scott prepares to leave him to die: “See you later.”

    Try on a pair of canvas Chuck Taylors and a pair of adidas and thank the basketball god for modern basketball shoes.

    Fly to Honolulu, get up very early, and go to Eggs and Things and have their deservedly legendary banana pancakes and coconut syrup and then walk along any beach with “IZ” Kamakawiwoʻole’s “Over the Rainbow” on your Nano and realize perfection can happen.

    Fly to New Orleans and walk through the French Quarter with the ear buds full of Satchmo singing “What a Wonderful World” and realize that even though Clay Shaw was finally exposed for being an intelligence asset, President Kennedy’s brain is still missing, and no one has been found that could make the shots with the magic bullet Oswald made with the Manlicher Carcano, that yes, its a wonderful world.

    Go buy a red ‘60 Chevy Impala convertible with a white top and moon hub caps and bullet taillights and late at night drive to the last place you parked with a girl when you were in high school, forget that its all changed, park, put the top down, crack a tall cool one and plug in the ear buds and play Unchained Melody" and "You’ve Lost that Lovin’ Feelin’" by the Righteous Brothers. Then whisper as you look up to first the Big Dipper and then the Belt of Orion the Hunter: Its been a sweet, sweet, sweet ride and I wish it could never end.

    Go for a walk in the old neighborhood you haven’t seen for 30-40 years and stand on the exact spot where the one that got away last held you and play “Stand by Me” by Ben E. King and feel the old pain shoot through your pumper as achingly as it did way back when you had no idea you would carry this with you your entire life.

    Then go home and lay down in bed and play “IZ” Kamakawiwoʻole’s “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” one more time on the Nano before you close your eyes and whisper to yourself: it was all so incredibly awesome and add in a whisper, hey, big bro, up their in heaven, I got lucky, I got really lucky, I got another basketball season big bro, its just around the corner, coming just like the winter comes, almost before you know it. See ya later, big bro, see ya later.

  • @jaybate-1.0 If you find that store get me a brick of 22lr’s. And while you’re there, pick-up a .45 and a box of ammo to carry while you’re walking the French Quarter. Or stop by the house before you go to the quarter and I’ll fix you up.

  • For me , Jaybate, same stories, different venues. In our minds, we’re watching technicolor memories etched by lightning, but to others, they are home movies. Tell It Like It Is - Aaron Neville brings back a sadness from 1966 and Etta James makes me smile. There are two things, other than my family, that bring me great joy in life. Fresh tomatoes and Jayhawk Basketball.collage.jpg

  • Banned

    @brooksmd I know a guy who I have had a beer with many times, that has a cousin, that knows a girl, who’s married to his brother, who has to two kids that call him uncle, that makes my ammo for me. Shss don’t tell anybody. 😉

  • .22 ammo? Clint called. he said…get real gun…

  • @JayHawkFanToo

    “Hey… I gotsta know!”

  • It must be getting close to BBall. I purchased my Street and Smiths (now called Sporting News) College and Prep basketball yearbook the other day, and Jaybate is posting lengthy non-basketball related essays with references from every walk of life.

  • @wrwlumpy


    It’s chili pepper picking season for me right now!

  • Ah, yes, hoops season nears. And @wissoxfan83 is posting about jaybate 1.0’s posting not involving KU basketball and posting about LSU and Wisconsin football!!!

    Yeeeee hawwwww!

    Bring me the head of Alfredo “Bo” Garcia!

    Bring it next March.

    Bring it to Allen Field House on a pike after cutting it off in the NCAA tournament and proving that the Wisconsin girlie men and their hockey puck fans are pretenders at the greatest game ever invented.

    (Note: one can be a dual fan in the off season, but NOT during the season!!!)

    Here, once the season starts, there are no dual university loyalties. There is no love for State Subsidy Street connecting the pork of UW with the pork of the state house. Ice fishing and ice sailing cannot buy dual loyalties except in the off season.

    Here we trap Badgers, and cook them on cotton wood spits to be fed to pound dogs in Desoto.

    Here we consider “On Wisconsin” a chain gang song sung by pasty whites that said, “Yah, sure, Marge, see ya soon,” to wives, after being sent to Club Fed for fiduciary fraud in insurance hustles.

    Here, Badger red is only a symbol of their blood running after a Jayhawk administered beating to a bloody pulp.

    Here, Jayhawk rings exceed Badgers rings. Here Jayhawk total wins exceed Badger total wins.

    Here, wheat beats barley, and oil beats hops, and Cobalt beats Mirrocraft.

    Here, it is not enough to have a few teeny custom cheese makers to offset Kraft, a few custom gut casing stuffers, to off set Oscar Meyer, and a few good breweries amidst all the decades of Schlitz and Old Milwaukee and PBR being foisted of unconscionably on beer drinkers as gussied up hops infused cat piss.

    Oh, my, yes, the season of the greatest game ever invented approacheth.

    Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the basketball lord!!!


  • @drgnslayr Please tell me those are droplets of sweat on the Charlie Weis gnome…

  • I will never mention the Badgers here again, but I am totally pumped for a KU-UW final in which Frank the Tank blocks an Alexander dunk at the buzzer, but the refs blow a whistle and Alexanders Jam time band strikes up. Bo blows a gasket which lands him in a casket, Big Alex makes the FT’s for Self’s 2nd NC, and a Bo-less UW shrinks back into obscurity thus leaving me no choice but to whole heartedly, undividedly cheering for KU.

  • @wissoxfan83 I hope you’re not serious about not mentioning the Badgers on here again. Shoot - most of us have other teams that pique our interest, or players, or coaches or whatever. There’s no sin in cheering for another team if you have roots or interest there.

    Unless they’re playing Kansas!

    In which case, there could be a public lynching. Lol.

  • @nuleafjhawk it gave us a team to follow in the post season, last year.

  • @Crimsonorblue22 Sad but true.

  • @wissoxfan83

    Love your response.

    But hell no you cannot stop talking Bucky Ball. I was just having some fun. Self and Bo are the two bonafide successful right way coaches.

    Alas, I fear they maybe in ten years the hoops equivalents of Joel McCrea and Randolph Scott in Ride the High Country. Oh, I hope not.

    Regardless, I was just having some fun.

    Beside, perhaps you recall I went to grad school in Mad Town and so I have some strong affection for what Bo has done and will do there.

    And last year’s Badgers did more to reinvent the X-axis and the art of shooting than any team in a long time.

    But if KU and UW meet, then: “BRING ME THE HEAD OF ALFREDO BO GARCIA!!!”

  • So are there any closet misery or Silo Tech (kstate for you young fellers) fans here?

  • @wissoxfan83

    Now, wait a damned minute.

    Misery and Silo Tech are not technically universities.

    They are more what you might call Instititutes of Advanced Beastiality and Sudafed Chemistry.

    They are, therefore, strictly off limits.

    (Note: Forgot to mention–just kidding around here–about KSU. )

  • @wissoxfan83

    I root first for KU, next for my undergrad alma mater. After that for the other state teams including KSU (cannot stand Weber but I liked Fran Martin), then WSU (don’t care much for Gregg Marshall but there is no question he can coach). Finally I root for Big 12 teams when playing non-conference foes and after that I really don’t care much.

    P.S. I also root for every team that plays UK or MU.

  • @wissoxfan83 When I was young, I hated K-State with a (purple) passion. Now that I’m aged to near perfection, I don’t mind K-State so much. Still don’t care for them in basketball, but I respect the heck out of Bill Snyder and will root for them in football when they don’t play us.

    Missouri - When I was young, I hated Missouri. Now I hate them worse. I have not, nor will I ever root for them in any sport.

  • @nuleafjhawk

    I miss the basketball rivalry we used to have with the purple petunias. There were many years when we didn’t dominate the league and KSU had good players and coach. One of my favorites was Jack Hartman. A class act and solid coach. The rivalry with KSU heated up at times, but it never got on the same level as the hatred between KU and Mizzou. KSU has a decent student body. Mizzou… well… I don’t think I need to go there.

    I’m not that fond of Weber… but I really liked Martin. Other quality coaches… Kruger, Fitzsimmons… and how about Tex Winter?! Winter had 2 FFs, 4 Elite Eights, 6 Sweet Sixteens… Coach of the Year, and even an undefeated conference season!

    The purple kiddies have a solid basketball heritage… It would help us all out if Weber could pull his head out! We need to continue to improve our league!

  • If Tex was a sibling or kin to Johnny or Edgar-then count my butt in !! I could care less about his colors. The Winter bros were albinos !! Damn good r & b from The day. Surely you & JB are hip to the old “White Trash” sessions. Certainly some guys are saying WTF is he talking about? LOL guys-we know was up.

  • This post is deleted!

  • @globaljaybird I do like me some “Frankenstein”…

    (I gave up trying to link it - got it to turn blue, but it wouldn’t go anywhere when you clicked on it)

    Fixed it for you… 🙂

  • @nuleafjhawk Meant to say whassup but the phone wouldn’t jive.

  • @drgnslayr I don’t like Weber either. He just seems to be too …(trying to be sensitive and politically correct) …light on his feet. Something like that. My take is the he can’t recruit but seems to do ok with good players that he inherits. I won’t miss him when he’s gone.

    I was looking at a stat recently that blew my mind. Kansas’ Bill Self is our 8th basketball coach. EIGHTH. Since 1898.

    Brucey is K-State’s 23rd coach. T W E N T Y - T H R E E. Their eighth coach was a gentleman by the name of Charles Corsaut, who coached from 1923 - 1933 and was 89-81.

  • @jaybate-1.0 My first car was a 54" Dodge, but I learned to manage the road race course at the old Garnett lake in a-dig it-red 60’ Impala-with bullet tails & baby moons. Your sonata sounds like a letter from home old friend-somehow you know when to push just the right buttons to raise this old mans can from way down in the dumps. My little buddy’s been gone 2 months yesterday & today it feels like an eternity.

  • @drgnslayr I remember them all slayr, and quite well. Not much for a small town country boy to do growing up beyond the here & now when we only got about 3 tv stations till midnite & half a dozen AM clicks when there were no storms in the air. We actually did pick up the Wolfman in the early 60’s from XERS in Del Rio, but it was a transmission from Acuna Coahuila Mexico, & was really tough to decipher even on the big old Hoffman shortwave. I am still major pissed at my bro for letting that radio get caught up in his flippin in-laws divorce. G-rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr !!

  • @nuleafjhawk Maybe flakey or squirrely would suffice leaf-just a thought.

  • @JayHawkFanToo Had one JFT. No fun to practice with-waaaay too much kick & power. Great piece if you’re point blank with a grizz, but other than that not much practical about it. If you’re into bear, the 457 Winchester is a very choice arm load, but is not for the meek-or those with sensitive hearing. Definitely my weapon of selection for the tough jobs, other than an AR/military piece.

  • Banned

    @nuleafjhawk I have a bit of a problem with K-state. It’s great they have had some wonderful success on the grid-iron as of late. However lets keep some things in prospective here.

    They caught lighting in a bottle when they found Mister Snyder, as he might be the best at ever running a football team. What happens when the old boy hangs it up for good, or will the Wildcats demand he coach until he dies? They completely sucked before his arrival and when he left briefly they fell from the ranks of respectability like a hot potato falling through my hands when I was to drunk to use tongues to pick them up off the grill.

    Also this new BB coach who I don’t care to mention his name, has no respect for KU or HCBS. When in fact his only really claim to fame was coaching HCBS’s players to a final four.

    I know as KU fans we don’t really see the Wildcats as a rival, but I don’t like them.

  • @DoubleDD hope you don’t use tongues on your grill!!! Oh, I don’t like them either! Enjoy your late night posts!

  • @globaljaybird

    We come from the same time capsule.

    We can recall the time when the only divided four lane high way in the state was Ike’s Kansas Turnpike.

    We an recall when the interstates were new.

    We can recall when American iron was the best.

    We can recall 3.2 beer joints, restaurants without mixed drinks, and bottle clubs at the edge of town.

    We can recall when Kansas was Main Street Republican.

    We can recall when Presidents rode in open cars and didn’t get assassinated and when Presidents couldn’t assassinate whom they pleased.

    We can recall antennae’s on roof tops that could be turned to make a blurry B&W picture a little less blurry.

    We can recall the Civil Defense tests and the neighbors digging bomb shelters.

    We can recall the Civil Rights Movement before it reached critical mass.

    We can recall Laika, or at least can recall people recalling Laika, the Russian dog launched into space.

    We can recall when Nike referred to missiles in silos near Gardner/Edgerton Exit on I-35, not petro-shoes.

    We can recall Sputnik, Echo and Telstar.

    We can recall the Yuri Gagarin and Alan Shepherd.

    We can recall Little Rock and Selma.

    We can recall Francis Gary Powers and the U-2.

    We can recall Jim Brown, Ernie Davis and Floyd Little one right after the other.

    We can recall Mick and Say Hey.

    We can recall seeing our first Volkswagen and then going to see Chevy’s Corvair to see if it was better.

    We can recall dream cars.


    And dream buses.


    We can recall Parnelli Jones almost winning at Indy with the first STP Turbine car fielded by Andy Granatelli.


    And the second.


    We can remember Carroll Shelby dropping a Ford 260 V8, the same small block I ran in my '64 Ford Falcon, in an AC Bristol and calling it a Cobra.


    And the 427.


    We can remember the police dogs and fire hoses in Alabama.

    We can remember rockabilly and rock’n’roll.

    We can remember the Sun Sessions.

    We can remember Chuck Berry blue printing rock and roll the way people used to blue print a 409.

    We can remember when America had never lost a war.

    We can remember when America waited to wage war until it was attacked.

    We can remember when the music was still fun.

    We are survivors that rode a very long wave with a very big face and avoided the break that took so many others down.

    We are here.

    And for whatever reason, we get another basketball season.

    To those that aren’t from our time capsule, all we can do is smile real big, cue up J.J. Jackson, and step one two cross, back one two cross, all the while spinning our arms and fists like an old reel mower, oh…

    "You don’t know how I feel

    You’ll never know how I feel

    When I needed you to come around

    You always try to bring me down

    Oh, but I know, girl, believe me when I say that

    You are surely, surely gonna pay, girl

    But it’s all right all right girl

    You can hurt me but it’s all right

    Hey now, one day ah, you will see

    You’ll never find a guy like me

    Who’ll love you right both day and night

    You’ll never have to worry 'cause it’s all uptight

    Oh, but I’m tellin’ you girl and I know it’s true

    That I was made to love only you

    But it’s all right, all right girl

    You can hurt me, but it’s all right

    Go on, yeah

    Oh, oh, yeah

    My my my baby, wow, yeah!

    But it’s all right all right girl

    Hey, say it’s all right all right girl

    Now there’s one thing I want to say, hey, yeah

    You’ll meet a guy who’ll make you pay

    He’ll treat you bad and make you sad

    And you will lose the love you had

    Oh, but I hate to say I told you so, but

    Baby, you gotta gotta reap what you sow

    But it’s all right all right girl

    You are payin’ now, but it’s all right

    So goodbye, now, goodbye, girl

    You’re payin’ now, say bye-bye

    You hurt me once, you hurt me twice

    Oh, but-a baby, that don’t cut no ice

    Hey, goodbye, baby…"

    P.S.: I’m in good with god regarding dogs, and he tells me in no uncertain terms that your dog is sitting at his right hand and happily waiting to resume being your loyal friend when the time comes.

    And so I will quote from “Soldier in the Rain,” as I sometimes do.

    “Unitl that time Eustace, until that time.”

  • Banned

    @Crimsonorblue22 Thanks a lot, now I can’t go back and edit. 😉

  • @JayHawkFanToo - Thank you! My goal is to someday not be quite as stupid as I am right now. Until then, I will gladly lean on friends like you.

  • @globaljaybird

    Hahahahahe… yeah… I grew up with the Winter boys and Derringer. “Roadwork”

    “Lawdy mama, light my fuse”

    How about some “Iron Man” today? Live from Paris - (got an hour to kill?)

  • @globaljaybird Yes, that would have been much better…but what I said is much better than what I was thinking, whatever that’s worth.

  • @nuleafjhawk I think that too!

  • @drgnslayr Back in the day, I was a HUGE Black Sabbath fan. (I still like them, just don’t listen to them much any more) I always felt that their musicianship was very much under-appreciated, especially by the media. I had every album they ever put out and always felt that their name was much more menacing than their music and/or lyrics. I got to see them in concert in Houston, but it was just after Ozzy had left and Ronnie James Dio was the front man. I was a little disappointed ( cuz I was USED to Ozzy! ), but it was still a pretty good show.

    To me, music and cars from that era just can’t be matched. I think I loved almost every car ever made from 1967 - to 1970 ( hey - same as the Beatles album…) and similarly, I love much of the music from that era.

  • @jaybate-1.0 Gracias old friend, has been a really dark couple of weeks. A close friend & Mother both passed about 10 days ago & I’ve been needing badly to emerge from this funk. Life still goes on, just different every day. Thanks so kindly for the uplift & keep stroking that k-board so rats like us can find something besides krappy old acorns to chew on. They’re just too damn tough to crack.

  • @globaljaybird so sorry to hear!

  • @Crimsonorblue22 Incomprehensible tragic situation. Nut went on a rampage & senselessly murdered 5 elderly people in a very quite neighborhood over a failed flippin car theft. Dumbass couldn’t drive a stick shift. Absolutely mind boggling crimson, just no words to describe it.

  • @globaljaybird that’s awful!!! Can understand why you are having a hard time! Did they catch him?

  • @globaljaybird I’m very, very sorry for your losses.

    It’s been a tragic, yet enlightening year for me too. Tragic in that I’ve been to 9 funerals this year ( I wish I were exaggerating…), but enlightening in that He sustains us and gets us through it all. On a brighter note, (it won’t sound like it for a little bit, but hang on) - my best friend was diagnosed on August 5th with a baseball sized brain tumor. They said that there was a 90% chance that it was malignant. They operated on Aug. 19th and said they got 85% of it. The MRI the next day showed NOTHING. No trace. When the pathology came back, they said it was benign. She doesn’t have to do chemo, and is expected to make a full recovery!

    Then, my dad was having some urinary problems (sorry…) and an x-ray showed a spot on his bladder. After much scrutiny and testing, they decided it was cancer (caught it very early) and operated to get rid of it. The surgery went perfectly. The recovery did not.

    He was supposed to spend one night in the hospital. Today is day eight. Until noon yesterday, he had not had any food since Wed. 9/3/14. He had a tube running through his nose down into his stomach siphoning “stuff” that was making him nauseous 24/7. Thank God he finally had a breakthrough yesterday and has been improving at an incredible rate since then. They are going to release him on Saturday, providing all goes well until then.

    I don’t want to preach, I know that’s not the purpose of this site, but my goodness - I honestly don’t know how people get through stuff like this without Him. I couldn’t. I know - I tried for more than half my life.

  • @nuleafjhawk great testimony! I imagine there are many tragic events throughout our posters. Hopefully we can brighten our friends day!

  • @globaljaybird We talked a few times about our four-legged friends and I know you said you didn’t know if you wanted to bother with house training a new friend, but have you considered either looking on-line or visiting your local shelter? There are many mature, house trained friends who would take it upon themselves to help you with your funk. Mine was rescued from a shelter and he thanks me every day. None could take the place of Woodrow, just as none would ever take the place of my friend in my avatar, who I would clone in a heartbeat, but there are some looking for a second chance to own another human. Reading your posts it’s easy to see that you know the benefits we humans reap from having that one close friend who always “wakes up in the same mood everyday.”

  • @globaljaybird

    So sorry for your news. It’s Friday now… so ROCK ON, my friend!

  • @brooksmd ahhhhh! I like your idea! If I ever get another dog, I would want to have a comfort dog. I first saw them at sandy hook, thought that would be so rewarding!

  • @brooksmd Most likely that will be our course. The numbers that are destroyed at shelters is astronomical. Even as advertised no kill shelters run out of room & have to send many away they’ve no place for. Thousands upon thousands of those end up in the (IMO) wrong places for research purposes and will break your heart if you see the amount & degree of experimentation that they endure to make humans’ lives safer. As I told crimson, we are just not yet ready to commit the amount of love to another “Granddoggie.” The home they garner our soul is inexplicable to relate to many, but those who have the ability to allow that entry, live richer & more fulfilled lives. Of course this is only a persons’ opinion and I would not expect some to understand.

  • @jaybate-1.0 I consider myself somewhat of a vehicle aficionado, having grown up in the 60’s and 70’s when cars were not only works of art, but high performance machines. I also watch at least 1,000 hours per week of the Barrett-Jackson Auto-Auctions (that may be a slight exaggeration…) - but I think that GM “Parade of Progress” is possibly the coolest vehicle I have ever seen! I want one!! And I’d never seen one before you posted this. Thanks!

  • @globaljaybird

    Sometimes it comes down so hard…

    Hat Rain Hard.png

    But you’ve got the right stuff.

    And Bill will coach 'em up and the boys will play.

    Rock Chalk!

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