50 Shades of Camouflage, Or adidas Should Start an Olivia Wilde Line of Sports Lingerie
Just between you and me, Olivia Wilde did not make me an homme en flambé when she appeared at Allen Field House.
But just between you and me a second time, I watched Opie Taylor’s “Rush” about the great '70s Formula 1 duel between James Hunt and Niki Lauda and Olivia Wilde not only turned me into an homme en flambé but she then pored methanol all over me and left me burning hotter than Lauda in his horrific, disfiguring accident that Lauda has so heroically risen above the rest of his admirable life.
Olivia Wilde–adidas and KU have a once in a generation opportunity here and seem not to recognize it.
Olivia Wilde has to be signed as a product endorser for adidas and a KU angle has to be developed with Olivia at Allen Field House before I die of virtual flame inhalation!
Olivia, like many great beauties, is just a person trying to earn food and a roof, like the rest of us. And like many good actresses, she can turn the beauty flame up and down like a bunson burner. In the field house, in the past, she was just being a date at a game. In Opie’s “Rush,” she turned the flame on full blast and Opie gave her the flattering angles. Maybe you had to have lived through the 70s and have known some English hotties of that era to appreciate how much of a fiery bull’s eye her performance was. I did and it was.
So: I am sick of all of this inhibited Germanic, militaristic-gangstuh hybrid approach to pedaling sports apparel globally. We all know beautiful women make men buy shizz they don’t need and buy their wives and kids things they don’t need either. If Joan Rivers weren’t cold and stiff this morning, she would palm her forehead and scream, “Grow up! No man ever thrust his hand up under a woman’s diploma. Every woman knows what men want. Let’s get on with it.”
Sign Olivia, adidas.
Pay her whatever she wants.
And she’ll want plenty.
Because every woman knows what men want.
Hire one of the top fashion designers that can make women look fabulous in any kind of material.
Put Olivia in 50 shades of properly designed crimson and blue camouflage lingerie–bra and panties–evening gowns–lounging attire.
Put her in a crimson and blue bustier in fish nets and stilettos and let her digitally walk on the backs of first the trainers, then the players, then the coaches, then the AD and then suddenly stop, jump down to the hard wood, and slip on a conservative KU blue robe and look sheepishly into the camera, as CBernie in trench coat looks on severely with arched eye brow at center court in a darkened field house, only to peel off her trench coat and reveal a KU basketball uniform and adidas treads and CBernie through digital fx jumping up and jamming over Olivia, who turns and shouts, “Way to go, Chancellor, way to go!”
Olivia, adidas, and KU can have the world wearing adidas crimson and blue treads in no time.
Go, Olivia, go!!!
Just checking KU Buckets after a stroll through the Red Light District in Amsterdam. I just looked at the goods-I am lucky I didn’t read this Olivia post before I went on that stroll.
Be sure to eat some Edam and Gouda for us. And stay out of any drinking establishment with a guy named Jean-Baptiste Clamence at the bar.
Your new nickname is “Fireslayr!”
You are really bangin’ on all 8 cylinders today!
We’ll have everyone in the world fighting to get into AFH (except, perhaps Lauda)!
Perhaps the next suggestion involves getting Adidas to make their wear flame-retardant! But before then they should burn all the camo and bring in flame art!
Imagine a Kansas uniform with a flame motif!
Come on… we are in the Midwest for God’s sake! We are all car nuts and we love our custom flame art!
I promise to buy anything with a Jayhawk and flames on it!
How about some metal flake, too? I’d love to see our crimson in a candy apple red!