Lost loyal Jayhawk
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dylans said:
Sorry for your loss. It’s never easy. We need the distraction of a basketball season even more now!
YES , That would be really good ROCK CHALK ALL DAY LONG BABY
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Barney said:
@jayballer73 Very sorry for your loss. Never had a brother myself but last year lost a brother in law that was just as close. Prayers lifted for you and yours.
You are so very correct had a brother-in-law that I lost about 2 yrs ago - -l always considered him a brother - -very close very special so I agree for sure. - -ROCK CHALK ALL DAY LONG BABY
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Sometimes it comes down so hard you need a hat, a poncho AND an umbrella.
You seem to have had more than your share of traumas lately.
Like getting old, losing brothers is not for sissies.
Enjoy the good memories.
And don’t forget what a turd he could be at times.
You can’t love and cherish an idealization of someone.
When mine died a particularly grizzly death, it helped me to write about my brother from my first memory of him till the end. At first it was a eulogy intended for his sons, but then it became far too personal to share. Too much truth about us, our family, our town and our country’s journey. I cried and laughed quite a lot writing. 80-90 pages later, I learned why he was so important and beloved by me. It was simple really. He was my earliest memory. I remembered he and I sharing the same bedroom divided only by a lamp on a night stand. I remembered it was he who was there first to comfort me, when I had a bad dream. I had loving parents, but it was my brother who was there first. It was probably different for him, but that was how it really was for me. With a good older brother in the world, I felt safe and watched over. There was always a back stop.
I handled my mother and father dying like a champ. Everybody said how stellar I was. But when my brother died, I just had to withdraw quite a long time and reorient myself. The writing helped. Many things helped.
Eventually it was like I was given a second life—a really great second life that one day, when I die, I expect to tell him all about. He will like what I have done and say: “but did you take my advice I gave you when I was sick and you were struggling so much?” Yea, bro, I will say, I took it, and it made all the difference.
The advice he gave was: you can’t fix everything, bro. You have always tried to and no one can.
And that has made all the difference.
I trust you will discover something of equal or greater value on your own reconciling to this terrible loss.
I wish I could fix this for you, but I can’t.
Rock Chalk.
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@jaybate-1.0 It’s been 5 years since I lost my brother. I’m still moved to tears by certain things…you came close, but I’m at work no time for that.
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Bosses hate crying!
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Sorry to hear, we’ll be thinking of you and your family brother.
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@jayballer73 sorry man. 68 is way too young.
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@jaybate-1.0 Mercy buddy for me you can’t possibly know how this hit me & made so much sense I can’t begin to tell you how much I appreciate what you said here so much is the same here. I loved my mom and dad to death , and Yes I grieved I mean I was mama’s baby - yet with my brother I find myself withdrawing/isolating myself at the present and self medicating I just want time to be able to absorb and process at my pace I have friends wanting to come over but I just want the time to myself
So many memories with my brother I could almost rival your 85-90 page lol going down the memory lane about my brother. I can’t tell me how much I appreciate what you have said here very nice my friend, - - I’ll rebound , I’ll be fine - -time heals , it’s just going thru THAT time. - - I try to stay strong I mean men aren’t suppose to break down/cry right people think that’s weak , I guess I’m weak but dam this was an awesome message to me again Thank you that makes me feel better I’ll be myself in no time the old JUMPIN- - GEE - -HOSSIE - -TOAD guy the ROCK CHALK ALL DAY LONG BABY guy- - - thanks again
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dylans said:
@jaybate-1.0 It’s been 5 years since I lost my brother. I’m still moved to tears by certain things…you came close, but I’m at work no time for that.
well I here you and he didn’t come close for me cause I am at home and ya I broke - - ROCK CHALK ALL DAY LONG BABY
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kjayhawks said:
Sorry to hear, we’ll be thinking of you and your family brother.
Thank you I appreciate that. Makes me feel so good to be around special fellow KU fans who look out for one another in the times
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DanR said:
@jayballer73 sorry man. 68 is way too young.
yes it is. found it kind of ironic - - - so close to the same age of my Mom’s passing. - -Mom pass away 10 days before her 69th birthday - -My brother turned 68 in May
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Sorry for your loss. Too bad we all can’t get together and support you right now in person. Pray for peace and comfort in the days to come.
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wissox said:
Sorry for your loss. Too bad we all can’t get together and support you right now in person. Pray for peace and comfort in the days to come.
It’s all good my friend. Just being hear and everyone expressing their wishes to me /for me is greatly appreciated. As you know that during times such as these only time can heal the wound, but it is like I’m with family here and that is what so special about this group. Do we have some mis understandings some times not agree? - -sure we do but so does family and I appreciate all the warm thoughts -it’s gonna be ok. - - ROCK CHALK ALL DAY LONG BABY
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@jaybate-1.0 Parents are tough but at least somewhat expected at some point. Siblings are worse and a different thing. I can’t imagine losing a child and have seen that push the parents into a much stronger relationship with God or drive them completely away. It is also can be very tough on the marriage. Anyone close is hard though. Blessings!
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Losing children seems the most devastating based on the two families I have known that have born that terrible loss.
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@jaybate-1.0 Re-reading my post, I apologize if it appears I am rating one hurt greater than another. Grief is grief and it all is painful. My heart aches for you.
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You are very kind. Thank you for clarifying.
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Barney said:
@jaybate-1.0 Parents are tough but at least somewhat expected at some point. Siblings are worse and a different thing. I can’t imagine losing a child and have seen that push the parents into a much stronger relationship with God or drive them completely away. It is also can be very tough on the marriage. Anyone close is hard though. Blessings!
Well I have had the unfortunate luck of losing 2 of my children. My 2 oldest son’s I always say kids are suppose to bury their parents NOT parents having to bury their children. I lost my oldest boy to a car accident with him and his fiancé - then I lost my next to oldest boy at the age of 3 months old from Sids. I NEVER EVER forget that day out at the lake with our friends on labor day weekend many years ago. I’ll never ever forget that scream I heard my wife let out - that scream is burnt into my brain and never ever want to hear anything like that again. THREE MONTHS OLD I got pretty bitter during this and turned my back on GOD for quite some time, felt like I had been cheated - my boy had been robbed of his life.
Losing a child is a whole different ball game. You appreciate it when people say things like Oh I’m sorry I know what your going through, and as a parent you appreciate that but like I have said NO YOU DON’T you have no possible idea what we are going through losing a child unless you have actually been through that yourself - there is no possible way just a completely different level. It’s one thing to lose a mom or a dad or a brother or a sister BUT a child? - Lord have mercy on anyone who has to endure this - it is no game.
I’m just so thankful for all my friends here and the thoughts they have given me on the loss of my brother this truly is FAMILY JAYHAWK Nation. - -simply the best, and I appreciate all of you so much. - - - ROCK CHALK ALL DAY LONG BABY
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jaybate 1.0 said:
Losing children seems the most devastating based on the two families I have known that have born that terrible loss.
They are my friend BELIEVE THAT not even close very devastating , and it can cause a real strain on a marriage. I encountered as much with this when we lost our 3 month old from SID’S. - -my wife at that time wanted to have another child right away and I said no. Because I knew all she was trying to do was replace Damon. I told her no, I said that would not be fair to the new baby, that would not be fair to me or her - -at the time she wasn’t wanting a new baby for a new baby she was trying to fill a void and it was to quick couldn’t do it cause some real tense times.
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@jayballer73 I would agree that the loss of a child would be the worst. I can only imagine, my wife and I have done foster care for a number of years and we had a set of kids for a couple of years and returning them to their parents is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It was before we had our own son and we were going to adopt them, but dad got his stuff together just in the nick of time. I put one of my best friends in his grave at 16 but I still that image of my son(foster) screaming for me at the top of his lungs chasing us down the driveway. That’s probably as heart broken as I have been and I bet that a fraction of the heart break a person would feel knowing that they are not only gone from your life but gone from the world. I’m proud to be a Christian, but my faith is tired and has been tested many times. You’re easily one of the best people on here (not knock anyone else), I’m glad to have gotten to know you and am happy to consider you a friend.
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@kjayhawks Well thank you for that. It’s truly appreciated for sure. I’m not so sure that I’m one of the best here lol, have a tendency to stir some feathers lol , I consider everyone here a very good friend and family and as we know even family argues has disagreements but that’s why we are cool. - we rebound and let it flow off our back like water off a duck right?
I’m sorry for you and your trials you have encountered /gone through with the adoption/foster - to foster takes a special kind of person and I think it’s a special person that will reach out and do so grow to love them as your very own- - - this world needs more people like yourself that will do these things.
I too feel that I am strong Christian - I waver at times , one of those times was when I lost my 3 month old to SID’S I was angry I was MAD. Through my selfishness I turned my back on GOD I was very mad at GOD I couldn’t understand WHY he would allow this to happen, Then I remembered eventually we are not to question GOD’S actions - he knows best, and I’m so grateful that even though I turned away for a period of time GOD never wavered with me - he would tell me , speak to me and say I’m here - - I’m still here what an Awsome maker. - staying with me all this time I just give thanks each and every day for him allowing me to open my eye’s and try to deem myself worthy of his love.
I would never want for ANYONE to have to go through a death of a child - -ANY AGE little lone like what my wife at the time and I endured. After all these years it still hurts - at times feels so fresh. Thank you for your thoughts that’s what makes this site special to me - -It’s all about family - and we are - -we are JAYHAWK NATION nothing could be better then that you have a great day my friend and as always I’m getting close to that ROCK CHALK ALL DAY LONG BABY
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@jayballer73 Wow that is too much! I am afraid only a parent that has lost a child can truly understand. I just went to a visitation for a 16 year old last night. Very sad.
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@jayballer73 I missed your post, guy. May God bless you and your family.
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KUSTEVE said:
@jayballer73 I missed your post, guy. May God bless you and your family.
Thank you buddy. I appreciate the words and thoughts. - – - Just got to get through these next couple of days and then after that keep moving forward and not look back ya know? - -Cause like I’ve always said to friends , never look back cause you can’t change the past - - -don’t look forward cause tomorrow is never promised - -just live today for today hour by hour - -minute by minute ya know?
These are the times I like to say to some people don’t walk ahead of me, for I may not follow - - - don’t walk behind me for I may not lead — -just walk beside me and be my friend -that’s why I like it here during times like this especially - I have lots of friends walking beside me just awesome how everyone has been so supportive and positive for me THANK YOU. - - -ROCK CHALK ALL DAY LONG BABY
