Things to Do to Get Ready for Round 1
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~Light incense and do anti-fouling chant for Tar.
~Throw three sunflower seeds over shoulder and appeal to the Tri-gods for Wayne to be hot from 3pt stripe.
~Hum “John Brown’s Body” while asking the basketball god for Perry to have the fire of an abolitionist raiding party retaliating for Quantrill’s torching of Lawrence.
~Bake three oatmeal and chocolate chip cookies in the shape of the numeral 3, eat, and positive visualize Greene/Frankamp/White each going 3-3 on treys.
~Put on the right sock worn the time Wigs got 40 and the left sock the time Wigs got 30.
~Make and down a Gatorade ice-cream float with a flavor of ice cream called Mid Major Mocha, so as to cast a spell on Florida to be upset by a mid major.
~Watch an endless looping feed of Tharpe’s three point makes this season until you are so in sync with his correct shooting mechanics that you can through telekinesis force him to make his treys with MK/Ultra mind control techniques dating back to the late 1950s.
~Visit a coven of wicans and remind them to use their considerable powers to give Bill Self 6-straight good hair days.
~Remind all D1 refs that are Free Masons that buried under the center circle of James Naismith Court is the basketball holy grail and that beside it is a square and compass medallion, plus a Knight’s Templar flag, plus a first edition of Ivanhoe, but NOT the head of Saint Euphemia of Chalcedon.
(Note: all fiction. No malice.)
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