Question: Could the Upcoming KU-KSU Rivalry Game at AFH Devolve into Bug vs. Bug?
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(Note: pre-emptive notice of ensuing fiction. Do not read, if you lack a sense of humor, or are a shill getting paid by the smear.)
Everyone knows that KU-KSU is a fierce in-state basketball rivalry.
Everyone knows that Interim KSU Head Coach Squeaky Weber’s tenure hinges significantly each season on how the Farmers fare against KU.
Everyone knows that it is only recently that Farmer-driven court-storming has only recently been successfully suppressed.
Everyone knows that the Farmers’ desperate desire to achieve parity with KU in basketball has NOT been successfully suppressed, despite (maybe even because of) the incessant beatings KU administers to the Farmers.
Everyone knows there is strongly asymmetric distribution of playing and coaching talent between the two programs, even this season, when KU is short handed on front court depth.
Everyone knows that KU has vastly better looking architecture, uniforms, venue to play games in, and VASTLY superior “emotive support projection managers” (formerly known as cheerleaders and yell leaders).
But…
It has just occurred to me that:
a.) KSU is big into biological warfare research; and
b.) KU maybe have been trying to play catch up by hiring Chancellor Girod.
This seems a potentially dangerous situation and I am dry-washing about it intermittently as I type about it.
Could it be that Coach Weber and Coach Self may now, like leaders of many world powers, have access to, and so be tempted to deploy, daunting new biological warfare levels of basketball strategy and tactics for tomorrow’s game?
Should concession stands begin selling antiviral medicines for the big game to minimize collateral damage?
I notice on KUAthletics.com that even venerated AFH has instituted new requirements mandating smaller, transparent hand bags and excruciatingly tiny clutch purses for everyone from students to those wild and crazy private oligarchs that can afford the good seats.
The state of fear Michael Crichton warned of in “State of Fear” seems to have finally come to pass.
(pause for dry washing)
Maybe we should just call the game off, declare KU the winner, and then enter into negotiations for a mutual build down in university biological weapons research to end the awful coaching temptation to take the greatest game ever invented to the next level of humanity’s inhumanity to humanity?
Maybe this could send a message to all the military-industrial complexes of the world’s great powers and their accountants that we are willing to fund their research into peaceful applications, but not those that trigger such awful eventualities as can only be survived by moving to a subterranean condo complex in Antarctica!
(Note: all fiction. No malice.)
Rock Chalk!
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