Some Things to Say to Your Flat Screen HAL 9000 TV During a KU Game

  • I’m taking the sound proof box off you now, HAL.

    KU is playing 3 in 3, HAL. I hope your cloud drive has enough drive space for all my yelling at the referees.

    HAL, is there anything your pals at Langley could do to the replay monitors in the NCAA to get KU a favorable whistle?

    If I get too crazy in an overtime, HAL, do you have any explosive bolts?

    Could you open the pod bay doors, HAL?

    I’m putting the sound proof box back on you, HAL. Would you like an aluminum foil blanket three layers thick, while you sleep, HAL. The Weather Channel says it’s going to be cold today?

    (Note: all fiction. No malice. Right, HAL?)

  • Always have your headset turned to mute.

    Cover up your webcam with tape unless you are using it.

    Smart phone? No. Flip phone. Call me ancient.

    Smart tv? Hell no.

    OnStar System? Are you kidding me?

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