JSPN RUMOR MACHINE (Rumorous ex Machina)

  • RUMOR: Brannen Greene has undergone plastic surgery to become Josh Jackson’s doppelgänger from 3 point range.

    RUMOR: Frank Mason will be listed at 6-3 this season.

    RUMOR: If Kansas goes Trump, Trump will build a 134 story Jayhawk Trump Tower on the site of the Jayhawker Towers and each roster player will occupy 3 stories of the tower. The rest will be the Sheldon Adelson Jayhawks Casino that will replace all other casino betting lines in college basketball and KU will never lose another game.

    RUMOR: President Obama will retire in Jayhawk Trump Tower and teach constitutional law at KU Law. Hillary Clinton will retire there also after her two term presidency. She will teach criminal law emphasizing cases involving members of her campaign team. Trump, Obama and Clinton will reveal the entire election was a puppet show.

    RUMOR: Self will break the apparent recruiting embargo, and win ten straight rings.

    (Note: all fiction. No malice.)

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