jSPN FAKE XCLUSIVE: Self and Staff Identified as Recruiting Enemy No. 1 in D1 by Bilders and Big Shoe
jaybate 1.0 last edited by jaybate 1.0
jSPN NEWS SERVICE
DATELINE: Somewhere Near Caningville, Malaysia
SLUG: KU Basketball Coaching Staff Labelled Recruiting Enemy No. 1 for landing so much talent despite THE REPUTED BIG SHOE EMBARGO
jSPN stringers have infiltrated the first annual secret combination Bilderburg/Big Shoe gathering in a jungle compound and resort somewhere far up the Malay Peninsula. They have learned that the Bilders and Big Shoers have declared Self and his staff as Recruiting Enemy Number 1 in their strategic efforts to take over Division One College Basketball in order to get the entire emerging global economy to migrate to petro-fiber clothing and petro-rubber shoes. Ever since Self and his intrepid staff signed one time reputed Nike lean Andrew Wiggins to play for adidas-KU, Self has reputedly been persona non recruiting grata with the Bilders and the Big Shoers. It was decided at the meeting that the current strategy of two stacks per Power Five conference would be expanded to three stacks per Power Five conference if Self and KU occupied any of the Final Four slots this season. jSPN stringers also learned that one freshman on KU’s team would never receive clearance, as long as KU remains contracted with its current petroshoeco.
(Note: All fiction. No malice.)