jSPN Fake Headline: Bragg's Nose Not Broken, Just Nicked Up!

  • Dateline: The Coach Speak Zone

    Slug: I Didn’t Bring Enough Big Men, So Bail My Ass Out!

    What was first reported as a savagely broken nose that looked like Carlton Bragg was given a love tap with a ball peen hammer in transition was rediagnosed today by Dr. I. M. Amedicalwhore, as a “minor contusion of the proboscis.”

    Said Dr. Amedicalwhore, “Carlton is very fortunate. A centimeter either direction and he might have had an operable nose break. Instead, it is a minor contusion of the proboscis that really effects his ability to play and take more ball peen hammer shots, er, uh, more finger slaps without endangering his brain function. Fans should be very relieved.”


    (Note All fiction. No malice.)

  • I’d expect it to be physical, and Self shouldn’t tell his squad anything else. No telling how the refs will call the games.

    NICE, nice “welcome” to big-boy-ball for Carlton Bragg. We need a tough-ass MickeyD to represent his beloved Cleveland and our beloved KU as strongly as he can. He has the makings of being a very nice player, and a future NBAer, for sure. Hopefully we get to keep him for 2+ years.

    Personally, I don’t think the foreign teams will have an answer for Frank Mason. And believe it or not, Jamari Traylor is an x-factor, as is dynamic Hunter Mickelson. I am starting to go from lukewarm to cool on Lucas, maybe he can gain confidence by the end of these games?

    Think of the dynamic duo of Hunter + Ellis. Put Lucas on the blocks with Jamari for the grind-war.

    Self also talked about playing Ellis at the 3, maybe putting Bragg at the 4?

    Vick will get huge mpg subbing for his height-equal Selden. Selden should feast and beast on the foreign-flavors placed in front of him, hehe…(ready to see a brighter version of Marcus Smart?)

  • Why will Vick get the crash development? Because Self knows Svi will go lotto (he will supernova, scouts will drool at his range, court vision, handles, and 6’8 length). Self also has a good idea Selden may supernova, especially now that he is obviously healthy and has his springs back. There is also a major fire under Selden’s butt that no Tinactin or udder-balm can cure: draft stock.

  • …and speaking of Wayne Selden. Self had better have his okie butt at BigWayne’s lotto-night table, as Selden has been a good soldier from Day 1, basically a McD-level glue man–but “lotto-night table” implies that Selden has a BIG year. A few 25+ ppg outings, maybe even a few 30+ppg outings.

    Because, to me, guys that are top30 talent, especially the Mickey Ds that stay 2 or 3 years, are the absolute BEST for Self’s system. High skill, high hops, high talent. Guys like Rush, Chalmers, Sherron, Cole, Shady. (Notice every one of those guys were part of a Final Four run). Now it is Ellis and Selden’s turn. THIS is the exact pipeline we need. The top30 guys that stay 2-4yrs. Chemistry and experience.

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