Some Post Traumatic Stress Moments in the Wake of the UK Beat Down

  • Woke up in a cold sweat remembering Wayne Selden pushing the button on his right thigh stenciled "press to explode” and nothing happening.

    Standing in a line at a CVS pharmacy, I flashed that the checker was a footer in a UK jersey that kept swatting my debit card into the card swipe and charging me a $100 bucks for $7.00 container of Somerset’s shaving oil.

    While standing in line for a beer I hallucinated Cal pulling me a draft and saying, “Before we beat you by 40, can I have a hug.”

    Flashed I was on "Dating Naked” and paired with Olivia Wilde and she said, “I don’t do Jayhawks any more.”

    Late at night I find Coach K desperately rummaging through my hermetically sealed high school mimeo playbook from 1970 looking for something that might work against when Duke meets UK, and when I confront him, he says, “Kiss me, fool!”

    Ashley Judd without make up forces herself on me.

    UK fans with cracked teeth and Downs Syndrome tie me naked to a hot still and let the Wildcat mascot lick me with its big, scratchy tongue.

    David Berst of the NCAA gives KU the death penalty for NOT cheating. Self is reduced to sobbing and saying that he did not know KU was not cheating.

    Kate Upton and Gigi Hadid announce they were about to double down on me until they saw my Jayhawk tat and said they’re Wildcat fans after the beat down.

    Thought I saw the ghost of Naismith weeping in the moonlight by Potters Lake.

    (Note: all fiction. No malice.)

  • @jaybate-1.0 Down’s syndrome is unnecessary!

  • @Crimsonorblue22

    No, no, no, Down’s Syndrome is absolutely necessary. As Joan River’s said, everything awful has to be made fun of to remove the taboo to stop people from doing too little to fix it. In fact, just for you I must add a hydrocephalus joke. 🙂

  • @jaybate-1.0 but… You are not Joan rivers! Jmo

  • @Crimsonorblue22

    And you are not Herbert Spenser. 🙂 Jmo

    “Oh, grow up!” (Remember Joan’s great old line to those in the audience that thought some joke was inappropriate.)

    You probably fake NOT having an orgasm. (rim shot.)

    C’mon, this is a comedy thread.

    Surely you can crack some jokes instead of being a boor, right?

    Write a joke and post in a backfill, phuleassse!

    Spread some mirth.

  • Have you heard the one about @Crimsonorblue22 counting backward from ten and getting tripped up at 11?

  • @Crimsonorblue22

    Please post a list of subjects that cannot be made fun of, so I can get started making fun of the list.

  • @Crimsonorblue22

    Hey, I’ve got a thought. Ask @JayHawkFanToo to drag and drop her/his recent art work here for you. 🙂

    Ask her/him. She/he will probably remember.

    Its really cool! 🙂

    Wink. Wink. Nudge, Nudge. 🙂

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