I AM CHASTENED: SELF VAPING EL BALLITO RAPIDO
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“He came. He looked. He went small.”–jaybate 1.0
Silly me.
I was sure Self was blowing smoke about four-out-one-in (4O1in).
NOT.
It wasn’t blown smoke.
It was e-cig Vaping.
Self was vaping like a rice burner leaving campus with its window down an inch and its driver crowding oxygen out of his brain and exhaling the buzz and the cotton candy air leaving window wake.
Self was vaping small ball big time
Self has joined the addicted.
It’s like he hung with Steve Kerr and Luke Walton at Club Vapor in Santa Barbara this summer and got a cloud-on and can’t get it to go down.
Here is the e stick quote that betrayed him.
"Dwight is still not 100 percent (recovered from ACL surgery). He’s structurally fine. He’s still dragging it a little bit. Mitch is going to be good but Mitch is young, green and doesn’t totally understand yet. It could be situations as much as anything else.”
Situations.
That is the most chilling word you can say about a big.
Situations means this guy can barely play. He’s good to lean on someone for a minute. It means not this season.
It means Self was blowing out a huge vapor cloud from a deep inhale off the deadliest high there is in coaching: small ball aka EL BALLITO aka 4O1in.
Just ask Steve Kerr how great El BALLITO is after lucking out one year and falling to earth the next.
No don’t ask Kerr. He just picked up Durant instead of a good big man. He is so hooked on El BALLITO inhaling he is probably laying in some East Bay intersection sucking on the tail pipe of a natural gas bus.
Self even has that grinning, edgy, crazy top of the pyramid eye look that vapers get between chem trails. Next thing we know he’s going all pasty white with the eye liner look of Luke Walton trying to take El BALLITO to Smog Town.
Self tried to go big. He went out and got him some bargain 747s at the Jumbo Jet Outlet Mall out near Edwards AFB. Had’em flown in to Ranteul at night, retrofitted, and rolled’ em up to AFH and said in the temple of his basketball familiar get on some spots and let’s play some MAN BALL.
Clearly Bill was trying to get back home same as Dorothy after the twister sucked her up out of the populist storm and set her down with the flying monkeys and evil witches and hemp hit fantasy side kicks.
There is nothing new about chemical augmentation of the senses with an e stick.
Self tried to stay on the spots again but then the Bigs he brought in couldn’t getter done…even insummer grab; that was when the new 4O1in habit of last season turned into a flying monkey on him.
Self fell off the big man wagon and now he is starving, hysterical, naked looking for a lift in a rice burner, like just another vaping kid on campus.
Bill might as well quit kidding himself about playing fast and break out the old three point needle and surgical rubber tubing.
It’s mainline the iron pyrite time again.
The paragon of Big Ball has been reduced to just another pale thin kid in tight legs talkin’ latte with the barista between hits on the e stick now.
Lord, where is Betty Ford 2.0?
Self is going with a 2 man big rotation (1 in) with a back up called Doke that could foul out of every game playing only 5 minutes per half.
Henry is shaking his head up in the shadows of the girders of AFH and saying, “The pressure finally got to him, Forrest.”
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What in the world is “El Ballito”?
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Pelota smallito
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You really need to brush up on your Spanish…LOL.
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Como se dice pelota mala, mi buen friendo?
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@jaybate-1.0 Might be your best one yet. PHOF!!!
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Muchas Thanks.
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@jaybate-1.0 You’re still going to get your grind it out, hi-lo bad ball w Bragg and LL every game , and if the big man on the bench can learn not to foul, we’ll probably see him breaking bodies in the paint every game. Then we’ll play 4 guards, and completely blow their mind. We’re going to flat overwhelm teams at times with this group- this is Self’s dream team.
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First, when referring to basketball you don’t use pelota, you use balón, “basketball” in Spanish is “baloncesto” where “balón” is ball and “cesto” is basket.
Next, a word of friendly advice…when you take and English word and add an “a” or an “o” or any other vowel at the end to make it sound like Spanish, to native Spanish speakers it sounds condescending and even racist and most don’t appreciate it; you can take the advice in the spirit in which it is given.
English is a beautiful language and you are extremely good at it, why would you try anything else? My last word on the subject.
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No kidding?
I’ll be dipped en menudo.
Vayas con la cabeza de dios.
I ain’ nunca learnt so mucha peninsular er isthmusian Espanol afore.
Goodness gracias.
Just havin’ a little pidgin fun.
Now ah’ll cierro mah boca.
