Flory The Benched Big Man (chatgpt)
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Flory the Benched Big Man (To the tune of “Puff the Magic Dragon”)
[Verse 1] Flory the benched big man, soared above the floor, Blocking shots and throwing down, the fans all begged for more. In Waco he was rolling, dunking with such ease, But Bill Self had his favorites, and Flory took a seat.
[Verse 2] KJ’s got the minutes, though the defense fell apart, Sixty in a half we gave, yet Flory watched the arc. Bears were draining jumpers, layups came in waves, Bill Self kept on watching as they ran us off the stage.
[Chorus] Oh, Flory the benched big man, sat and watched it burn, Dominating first half play, but never to return. Oh, Bill Self’s stubborn coaching ways, are getting old and tired, Maybe it’s about that time—could Bill Self just retire?
[Verse 3] Fans were left there shouting, “Where’s our freshman beast?!” The paint was left wide open, KJ fouled at least. Flory could’ve saved us, swatting shots all night, But Bill Self stuck with comfort, and waved away the fight.
[Chorus] Oh, Flory the benched big man, sat and watched it burn, Dominating first half play, but never to return. Oh, Bill Self’s stubborn coaching ways, are getting old and tired, Maybe it’s about that time—could Bill Self just retire?
[Outro] Now the March is coming, and we’ll see what unfolds, Will Bill Self trust the future, or just the same old roles? Flory waits in silence, ready for the call, But if Bill Self keeps on Bill Self-ing, we may just lose it all.
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Lol. I accept that there are several inaccurate nuances
me and gpt got it close enough
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This is scandalous, outrageous, preposterous and otherwise ridiculous. Since Puff the Magic Dragon was a song about drugs, are you implying, sir, implicating in fact, accusing our coach of using drugs? You see, I’ve been a Bill can do no wrong type really until yesterday. Even though I didn’t see the game, reading comments about Flory in particular on social media and then reading your Allan Shermanish rendition of a folk music classic I am now convinced that Bill Self is indeed making some strange decisions that can be explained in no other way than the man is toking up, lighting up, shooting up, snorting up, cooking up, and impairing himself beyond the ability to manage a game from his hallowed throne on the sidelines of one Phog Allen Fieldhouse.
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@wissox lolol love it
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@wissox shades of the movie Meet the Parents lol
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@kjayhawks i got alice’s restaurant vibes
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@kjayhawks Never seen it!
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Thanks for the song. Now we know where the phog comes from.
